Brian Rudman: Boobies already on show up at the city council

It's hard to keep up with Auckland City councillors. They dream out loud about turning the CBD into the silicone valley of the South Pacific. But the moment porn king Steve Crow offers to make the fantasy come true with a Boobs on Bikes parade down Queen St, they go all weak at the knees.

From the women's libbers on the left to the bible-bashing right, an unholy alliance of politicians is demanding that the permit granted by council staff for the parade - which includes topless women on motorbikes, promoting an upcoming erotica exhibition - be rescinded.

If I didn't know better, I'd think the leaders of the ban-the-parade campaign, Mayor Hubbard and councillor Cathy Casey, were in cahoots with Mr Crow. Because they've ensured this ho-hum event will now be pencilled into every news media diary in Auckland.

For the past three years, Mr Crow's topless ladies have paraded up Queen St without a permit, without untoward incidents or much publicity. No bystanders fainted away.

But if the permit is rescinded - and Mr Crow must be praying it will be - he'll be revving up the motorbikes regardless, full of injured innocence and accompanied by the sort of hoopla that money can't buy.

The Christian moralists like Mayor Hubbard and Citizens and Ratepayers Now leader Scott Milne are all atwitter because they don't like boobs being flashed in public, fullstop. Cathy Casey and her lot are more fussed by the thought of a person of the male persuasion making money out of the boob flashing.

Sensibly, neither the police nor the city officials are worried about the boobs. They just want an orderly show that won't disrupt the traffic. The petitioners worry about "the commercial promotion of a product which is exploitative and distasteful ... " and "to the precedent being set by granting this permit".

But is this parade any more exploitative or precedent-setting than the annual Lion Red "undie 500" which closes part of Queen St? The publicity for last year's event declared "this is your one chance to run up Auckland's main street in your undies without being arrested - so take it." And for the voyeurs: "It's a sight not to be missed, with boxer and brief clad bodies sprinting 250 metres up one side of the street and then back down to the finish line."

As for commercialism, well "the first guy and gal to cross the finish line will each win 500 bottles of Lion Red", and "we have 100 pairs of Rio undies for the first 50 guys and girls ... "

Exploitative? Of course you could argue along those lines. But like the birds on the bikes, all those undie flashers - male and female - strip by choice for a bit of harmless fun.

What's refreshing as far as the Boobs on Bikes parade is concerned is the laid-back attitude of the police.

Just where the law sits on the issue is confusing. This time last year, Judge Caroline Henwood dismissed a charge of offensive behaviour against Emma Jean Wills who bared her breasts in protest at a Destiny Church rally in Queen St. The judge declared "a bare-breasted woman can hardly be said to be an alarming sight and her intent ... was not to be lewd or offensive but to express her strong views ... "

The judge said there had to be a balance between freedom of expression and the freedom of others to enjoy public places. But Judge Henwood was not declaring open season for flashing on Queen St.

Ms Wills got off on a technicality. She had been arrested after the protest, still topless, at the other end of Queen St. The judge said such exhibitionism, hours after the protest, was "offensive" to passing family groups. But she let her off because the police erroneously named the scene of her crime as Hobson St.

In the present fuss, the police are relaxed about it. So why not the city politicians? I thought they wanted to be seen as world class, not as a bunch of provincial fusspots.