It is inevitable, following the suicide of someone prominent like Charlotte Dawson, that media begins a somewhat knee-jerk analysis of reasons for suicide, and bemoans yet again the "hidden" nature of suicide reporting, as required by law in New Zealand. The media is tired of reporting "sudden deaths" and "no
suspicious circumstances" when reporting that someone, invariably young, has died before their time. Media likes the freedom to say what really happened, and resents being curtailed, but with suicide there is a fear of copycat deaths if the word is printed or spoken.
Blogger and psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald remarks on how really smart people end up saying some really dumb things when deliberating over the reasons why Charlotte Dawson killed herself, pointing out that people don't kill themselves just because they lose their job or get bullied.
He explains: "The only consistent reason that people want to kill themselves is they can no longer stand the intense mental anguish they feel, believe it will never feel different and feel there is no other solution."
My first-hand knowledge of suicide is limited to a family member who attempted it. There had been a catalogue of hard hits and bad luck, but it wasn't one single thing that prompted a reach for the pills. The sense I have of it is exhaustion. Of absolute tiredness. The person had reached a threshold, a state of mind in which the events were probably now incidental but the unhappiness had reached a state where the person could not see another happy day ahead, and was completely exhausted by the prospect. They would welcome not waking up the next day, and seek a way to bring that about.
Our responsibility, and our instinct to live, is so powerful that single bad events are adjusted to. Even several bad events. It is right, when someone commits suicide, to explore what happened but, as MacDonald points out, it could be a futile search. Just attributing it to events, like cyber bullying, is too easy. When a person has reached the point of hopelessness, they have reached a state of mind where they are not in their right mind. What we can hopefully do is help them achieve a retreat and an escape that doesn't involve the ultimate sacrifice.
