KEY POINTS:
An astonishing claim by the lawyer of suspended Assistant Commissioner Clint Rickards that half of New Zealanders had engaged in group sex has led to scepticism among Herald readers - although many experts concede the kinky practice is increasing.
When Mr Rickards was asked on Thursday if he
thought group sex was an appropriate activity for a serving police officer, his lawyer, John Haigh, QC, interrupted, saying the question was irrelevant and "half of New Zealand has done it".
Yesterday, Mr Haigh backed down from his comments made outside the court.
He described them as a "throwaway remark" made when he was caught up in the emotional scenes after the verdict.
Reflecting on his comments, Mr Haigh said he was tired after the trial.
He said the comment did not have any substance and should not have been taken as anything other than "facetious".
He did not believe that half of New Zealand was having group sex.
"What I was meaning was that what goes on behind closed doors and is consensual sex should not affect someone's position."
Yesterday, the Herald did its own investigation into group sex - or swinging - to establish whether Mr Haigh's comments had any basis.
The latest Durex Sex Survey shows that 26 per cent of New Zealanders spoken to admitted to having group sex, a result that puts us on level pegging with Iceland and South Africa but just behind Australia.
One Auckland sex worker said up to 10 per cent of her business came from couples who preferred a discreet visit to a prostitute rather than meeting strangers in a bar - a practice known as swinging.
Experts claim couples fall into two camps including adventurous people in their mid-twenties or those in their 40s or 50s looking to put more spark into their relationships.
The number of swingers clubs is also on the rise with two opening their doors in Auckland in the past six months and providing competition for the long-established Club Kit Kat.
However, the Kit Kat's manageress, Loulou, says her establishment is more about "flirting, showing off ... and touching".
Most group sex is done in privately held meetings or arranged through a myriad of often "tacky" websites.
New Zealand's most popular website, NZ Dating, declined to comment but categories on its membership page include one for heterosexual or same-sex couples looking for another person.
Nic Beets, a clinical psychologist specialising in relationship problems and sexual issues, said he had noticed an increase in the number of couples admitting to having or wanting group sex since he began practising 12 years ago. Traditionally it had been men who had floated the idea but increasingly women were raising it as a possibility, as people begin to feel more comfortable about playing out their sexual fantasies, he said.
But Mr Beets said introducing a third person to a couple's sexual relationship is a high-risk activity.
Most relationships come to grief emotionally because people wonder if their partner still finds them attractive or feel insecure about their own performance in bed when compared with another person.
Those who do belong to the swingers set have rules including the couple agreeing not to have sex with the same person more than once and not establishing an emotional attachment to that person.
Mr Beets does not think the suburbs are "writhing with enormous numbers of swingers parties".
- STAFF REPORTER
