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Home / New Zealand

Groom reveals why he waited until 30 to get married as figures show fewer people getting hitched

By Ryan Dunlop
Ryan Dunlop is a reporter for the New Zealand Herald·NZ Herald·
3 May, 2018 04:36 AM4 mins to read

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New figures reveal that marriage is becoming less common in New Zealand - though the rate of divorce has also decreased. Photo / 123RF

New figures reveal that marriage is becoming less common in New Zealand - though the rate of divorce has also decreased. Photo / 123RF

Many people have aspirations to marry by the time they are 30 as part of a grand life plan - but for pastor Jeremy Kendall the decision was just good timing.

In August Kendall, 31, will tie the knot in Texas with his Californian fiance Erica Fry, a decision that goes against the trend of a falling marriage rate.

In 1992, the marriage rate was 18.3 couples per 1000 people eligible to marry (or, from 2005, form a civil union). This dropped last year to 10.9 couples.

"The highest number of marriages and civil unions in the past 25 years was in 2008, when 22,275 couples celebrated," Statistics NZ population insights senior manager Brooke Theyers said.

"The lowest number was in 2013, when 19,425 couples celebrated."

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Kendall and Fry two met a year ago when the American teacher was visiting New Zealand as part of her travels.

They hit it off, finding similar values in their Christian beliefs.

"We do have disagreements of theological values. But there is a lot of romance."

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"My girl is the most beautiful girl I know, but you also have to be able to connect to the person."

Kendall said he had waited until he found the right person but said if the two had met earlier he would have married when they were both 18.

Fry, who is in South Korea teaching English, is returning to New Zealand in 27 days - give or take a few hours, Kendall said. The couple fit in with one of the two main groups of New Zealanders getting married.

According to celebrant Aaron Bloomfield, the groups are those over 25 with their life in order and those from generation X and Y who are essentially married already bar the paper work.

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Erica Fry and Jeremy Kendall are planning to tie the knot in August. Photo / Supplied
Erica Fry and Jeremy Kendall are planning to tie the knot in August. Photo / Supplied

Bloomfield said he deals with "young 'uns" or millennials fresh out of study with a five-year plan, part of which is to marry and start a family by the age of 30.

"They usually get married the same time as their peers and I often see the same faces at multiple weddings over the same wedding season."

There was also what he called the "forever fiance'd" people from Generation X and Y who had taken their time to get their ducks in a row for their already-built family.

"They date for about a year, move in together, purchase a home, trial raising a fur baby together, and one day they realise they've got it made and decided to go official."

"Marriage is no longer the first thing you tick off straight out of high school like my parents' generation did.

"Marriage really is a choice these days - It's a choice to get married and a choice to stay married - I love that the stats reflect that people continue to choose each other well after the wedding day."

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The "young 'uns" had their heads screwed on and had already mapped out a plan for their lives by the time they came to him.

"By the time they're sitting in front of me to discuss their big day they've lived a little, journeyed together and worked out compatibility and are mature enough to overcome small niggles that if left untouched could turn into big ones, which are what causes relationship breakdowns."

The "forever fiance'd" were already married in their heads and their hearts and "getting legally married may just complete the picture of family where it could be as simple as the only change being that they all now share the one name".

The same lower marriage trend is also taking place in Britain and Australia.

Statistics NZ also reported that the number of divorces has dropped over the past 25 years.

In 2017, 8001 couples split up and the number of divorces per 1000 existing marriages was 8.4.

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This was in comparison to a divorce rate of 11.9 in 1992.

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