Grief support services have 'a way to go'

MORE SUPPORT: The New Zealand Bereavement Services Support Survey, lead by Carterton's Linda Penlington, found support was lacking for people dealing with a sudden loss.

If anyone understands the need for solid support in times of sudden loss, it's Linda Penlington,

The Carterton woman was selected as co-ordinator for the 2015 New Zealand Bereavement Services Survey, evaluating the performance and uptake of grief support agencies across the country, based on the testimonies of thousands of bereaved families.

And if the survey is to be believed, our national services have "a way to go", especially for those bereaved by suicide.

Ms Penlington, the Wairarapa co-ordinator for the infant loss support service SANDS, spent a year working on the project -- co-ordinating interview subjects, training researchers, and collating data.

For Ms Penlington, the survey was an "interesting", if poignant experience -- as her her own daughter died three days after birth.

"Bereavement can be a lonely place," she said.

"Support services are often the only place where the newly bereaved can feel heard and understood.

"Having those support structures in place helps people find a new normal -- but, right now, those structures need some work."

Ms Penlington was asked to co-ordinate the survey by the Health Quality & Safety Commission, thanks in part to her work representing SANDS on the Perinatal and Maternal Mortality Review committee.

The first part of her role was compiling interview questions for the participating families who had lost loved ones in circumstances from cancer, to car crashes, to drug overdoses, to family violence. She then trained the staff at Research New Zealand who would be conducting the interviews.

"The training was important -- they were used to ringing up and asking someone about their phone company, but they'd be talking to people who had lost someone not even 12 months ago.

"It was fascinating, as some of them weren't used to talking about emotive subjects at all. We had to have a few boxes of tissues available."

The interviews revealed supports for those having lost someone to a prolonged illness were consistently good across most regions. But there was less support for those coping with a sudden loss, such as a suicide, motor vehicle accident or death of a baby.

Those bereaved by suicide were also less likely to take up offers of help, which requires services to more actively follow-up with clients, Ms Penlington said.

"There is still a lot of shame embarrassment around suicide.

"It seemed people who'd lost someone to suicide didn't feel their grief was as valid as those who lost someone after a six-year battle with liver cancer.

"Unfortunately, some forms of death are more socially acceptable than others."

Heartening however was discovering there were a range of virtual support groups, such as webinars, chatrooms and Google Meetup groups, which young people bereaved by suicide were finding particularly helpful.

"This is good to know, as more funding could be allocated to online resources. But, for older people, we still need to be working on those person-to-person services."

The final survey report will be received by the Minister of Health this month.