From Russia to New Zealand: Hamilton woman Valentina Burgess’ search for her family

Valentina Burgess didn't know she had two biological brothers living less than two hours away. Photo / Alex Gilbert, An Adoption Story

Valentina Burgess has always known she was adopted. But the Russian-born woman wasn’t aware she had two biological half-brothers living in New Zealand, less than two hours away. Valentina’s journey to meeting her younger brothers is the subject of the latest episode of the online docuseries An Adoption Story. Before the episode’s online release, the Hamilton woman shared her experiences with Maryana Garcia.

On paper, Valentina Burgess’ life began after she learned to walk and talk.

“Nothing is known about me before age 4,” Valentina told the Herald.

Valentina was aged 4 when she met her adoptive parents and moved from Pskov, Russia, to Brisbane.

“My dad made sure that we were very aware that we were adopted.”

Valentina’s adoptive father was told honesty was the best path forward.

“I was adopted with two other siblings - a younger brother and an older sister and we don’t look alike. As we got older, you can’t really hide something like that.”

Growing up, Valentina’s father would share his experiences of Russia with his three adopted children, helping them stay connected with their heritage through storytelling and by organising Russian language lessons.

Valentina said she never wondered about her birth family or thought of searching for them.

“It just never crossed my mind.”

Russian-born Valentina Burgess was adopted when she was 4 years old and grew up in Brisbane. Photo / Alex Gilbert, An Adoption Story

That all changed when Valentina’s son, Lachlan, was born in 2020.

“As soon as I had my son, I thought, ‘Wow. This is big’.”

Valentina couldn’t imagine being placed in an orphanage “that young”.

“I couldn’t imagine myself doing that. That’s how it started.”

With each milestone reached in Lachlan’s life, Valentina asked herself more questions.

“I’d start thinking, ‘That wasn’t recorded for me.’”

Starting the search

Then Valentina and her husband, Carl Snowling, moved to New Zealand. The young family settled first in the Coromandel and then in Hamilton.

“I moved to New Zealand in 2022 with no job and no friends,” Valentina said.

Once the excitement of the move wore off, Valentina sought out the agency that had helped organise her adoption.

“I was wanting to just make connections, to find community. I thought maybe this was a good place to start and it was.”

The agency, ICANZ or Inter-Country Adoption New Zealand, introduced Valentina to Alex Gilbert.

Alex Gilbert, himself a Russian adoptee, founded the non-profit, online community I’m Adopted in 2015. Photo / Alex Gilbert, An Adoption Story

Gilbert, also a Russian adoptee, founded the non-profit, online peer support community I’m Adopted in 2015.

“At first, it was mostly sharing our stories,” Valentina said.

Then, Gilbert told Valentina he could search for her birth family if that was what she wanted.

“It wasn’t some random guy with a laptop asking for my information. So with my permission, he started searching.”

Gilbert said he knew what it was like to be in Valentina’s situation.

“I wanted to jump in and help,” Gilbert said

Gilbert started with the few documents Valentina had kept from the orphanage but those records didn’t contain much information on Valentina’s birth parents.

Then he got a break.

“With her orphanage health records, I was able to pinpoint a clue on taking the next steps of the search.”

Valentina Burgess didn't think about finding her birth family until her son, Lachlan, was born in 2020. Photo / Alex Gilbert, An Adoption Story

Valentina said Gilbert searched for about a year, contacting her weekly about his progress.

“I’d fill in my husband every time. There were a lot of ‘no-gos’. It was trial and error,” Valentina said.

“Sometimes you would really think we were getting somewhere and we weren’t. It was disappointing sometimes.”

There were points where Valentina began to think Gilbert could be wasting his time.

“I thought, ‘This isn’t going to happen’. I thought we weren’t going to find anything.

“But Alex just kept going and going and going.”

‘I’ve found your sister’

Then, one day, Gilbert rang Valentina with news he couldn’t wait to share. He had found Valentina’s half-sister Viktoria in Pskov.

“Straightaway I was on the phone wanting to know more information,” Valentina said.

“He connected us within an hour. It was nighttime for me and it was morning in Russia. I knew she would have to go to work and I had to go to bed so I was trying to get in as many questions as possible.”

Eventually, Valentina verified her half-sister’s identity by finding her name in orphanage documents.

“We’ve set her up with an instant translator [app] and Alex has done a few calls for me and translated.”

In the course of these conversations, Valentina’s half-sister revealed some surprising information.

“She told me there were two other brothers,” Valentina said.

“They were younger. This information wasn’t around anywhere because they hadn’t been born yet when I was adopted.”

Valentina was stunned.

“I was looking for mum and dad, not siblings. You might find somebody older but not younger. It wasn’t even a possibility I’d considered.”

Valentina Burgess meeting her younger brother, Alexey. Photo / Alex Gilbert, An Adoption Story

‘They’re both in Auckland’

Gilbert was later able to verify that Valentina’s two younger half-brothers had also been adopted, moved to New Zealand and were living less than two hours away, in Auckland.

“As soon as we found that out I was like, ‘Well, we’ve got to go see them’,” Valentina said.

Since then, Valentina has met her half-brothers in person.

Their meeting and Valentina’s journey are the subject of the latest episode of An Adoption Story, a web docuseries Gilbert created, produced and edited.

The first season, released on YouTube last year, featured the stories of 12 adopted people and had more than 200,000 views.

Television professionals Hamish Dodd and Bridgid Davis also helped with the production of the episode focusing on Valentina.

Now, Valentina and all three of her Russian-birth siblings share a group chat.

“I chat to them every day. My family is growing and tripling in size very quickly.”

Valentina said she was grateful to get another chance to be a sister.

“I’m just grateful that this happened at this point and this time and I can take it on. It all just aligned. In any other order, it wouldn’t have worked.”

Valentina encouraged other adoptees to seek their birth families if they had questions they wanted answered.

“I think if you think about it you should try. But if you’ve never thought about it then don’t worry.

“I think for your identity it’s really important even if you don’t get results.”

Valentina’s journey is the subject of the latest episode of An Adoption Story, a web docuseries. Photo / Alex Gilbert, An Adoption Story

Sharing experiences to help others

Alex Gilbert said he hoped Valentina’s story could help provide an insight into what the journey of an adoptee could be like.

“It shows that yes, there may be connections but also heartaches along the journey that you might be on.”

Gilbert said the An Adoption Story series also helped other adoptees to connect, no matter where on their paths they were.

“I love doing this because I know how important it is to know about your roots, and if you don’t want to learn about your roots, that’s perfectly fine.

“I respect every adoptee’s choices and that is what I have our community for.”

Gilbert said he hoped both the series and his online community, I’m Adopted, would continue to grow.

Maryana Garcia is a Hamilton-based reporter covering breaking news in Waikato. She previously wrote for the Rotorua Daily Post and Bay of Plenty Times.