Former Tikipunga High School principal Peter Garelja’s parting pearls of wisdom

Peter Garelja says the worst symptom of Parkinson's disease is loss of mobility. Photo / Jodi Bryant

Former Tikipunga High School principal Peter Garelja made a huge impact on many during his 16 years in Northland. Now, as he returns south to further wind down his journey, the Parkinson’s disease sufferer renowned for his sage words leaves some parting pearls of wisdom. Jodi Bryant reports.

“It’s better to burn out than to fade away” was the mantra from a Neil Young song Peter Garelja always lived by. Then Parkinson’s disease put paid to that theory.

His 2008 diagnosis at age 54 slowed life down considerably over the following years for the former Tikipunga High School principal.

“I was always a young man in a hurry.”

Garelja was at the height of his 37-year teaching career when he was diagnosed just months into his role as principal, which he’d moved north for. He continued for another six years before bringing his retirement forward and moving to Glinks Gully on the West Coast, where he’s lived with wife Raewyn for the last 10 years. It’s a place he cites as pivotal in his therapy.

Though when the Northern Advocate last caught up with Garelja pre-retirement, he admitted: “I’m a workaholic. I am trying to force myself to rest, but I don’t know how I’ll get on.”

Of the last 10 years, he now says, “That’s been therapeutic, slowing down in life. The thing with Parkinson’s is everything is slow - you can’t do things quickly anymore. You can’t get frustrated, so embrace it.”

Part of Garelja's therapy involved daily beach walks with his beloved dogs.

Parkinson’s is a progressive neurodegenerative condition caused by insufficient quantities of dopamine in the brain. When 80% of dopamine is lost, the symptoms of Parkinson’s occur. Today, over 12,000 New Zealanders have Parkinson’s, and numbers are expected to increase significantly over the coming years. Parkinson’s has both motor and non-motor symptoms and while it cannot be cured, it can be treated.

Garelja’s attitude toward life has put him in good stead regarding treatment. The much-loved principal’s office walls were once adorned with quotes, and many he still cites today, such as that of Viktor Frankl. “His thinking is no matter how bad things are in life, you’ve always got the choice. No matter the hand you are dealt, you just find a way to play your cards well.”

And that’s exactly what Garelja’s done.

A “fence at the top of the cliff” attitude has helped his 16-year Parkinson’s journey go more smoothly. This involves always planning ahead, through a diary, setting his watch five minutes in advance to avoid rushing, avoiding lace-up shoes and buttons and having an afternoon nap.

“I try to avoid stress as that is a major issue for people with Parkinson’s. If I can manage myself, I can reduce a lot of the effects.”

The son of a gum digger, Garelja grew up working-class in West Auckland and was flagged as a bright up-and-coming teacher from an early stage in his career. He took his first position as a principal at Kaipara College when he was 39. Later he was principal at Waitākere College where, at the junior prizegiving, he recalls giving his best speech, just weeks into the role.

“There was a huge crowd, they were really keen to meet the new principal,” he says.

That same evening his daughter, who he raised on his own after his first marriage ended, was receiving an award at her own prizegiving at Kaipara College.

“So I got up there, and I said, ‘It is so great to see all these parents here. You have a powerful influence on your children’s education, and that is why I hope you understand what I have to say next. I have to go now - it is my own daughter’s prizegiving at Kaipara College. I hope you have a good night’.” Everyone applauded and told him it was the best speech they’d heard.

It was assumed he would be there until he retired, but he knew he had one more school in him.

Glinks Gully has been home for Garelja for the last 10 years.

Taking the position at Tikipunga High School in 2007 felt, in a way, like a homecoming for Garelja. His mother was born in Aratapu; his father was from the gum fields in the Far North. He recalls how people would draw their breath in when he told them he had taken a role as principal of Tikipunga High School.

“People would say, ‘You are in for a real challenge there’.”

This was exactly what he was looking for. He just couldn’t have predicted his own personal challenges waiting around the corner.

The first sign anything was amiss was when he collapsed at a fancy restaurant. An ambulance was called and he was taken to the stroke ward while a process of elimination was carried out before Parkinson’s was diagnosed. Tiredness was the second symptom, then his walking gait changed, with his right arm swinging oddly.

“I was still playing a fairly high level of tennis before [being] diagnosed. I had a big serve, but I said to my wife, ‘My serve is not what it used to be’, and she said, ‘Don’t be silly, you’re just getting old’. But I knew it wasn’t right.”

“When I first got told, I told my family and we sat on that for a few months. I told my work, and then I told my whole school because I figured that’s an educated thing I could do, and I felt liberated by that as there are quite a few misconceptions about Parkinson’s.”

Garelja's dogs playing on the beach.

The developing symptoms of Parkinson’s have been a slow burn for Garelja over the years.

“Medical people are pleased my deterioration has been really slow. I know it’s going to get worse, but that’s part of ageing anyway. You get inside trading on the ageing process, I guess. There’s a misunderstanding - most people associate it with a tremor. I only developed a tremor in the last year or two. I think I’ve learned a lot about myself through Parkinson’s, and it’s about accepting it and not sweating the small stuff because, with Parkinson’s, you do sweat the small stuff.”

Though he now uses a walking stick, his fast gait has barely slowed, and Garelja is still driving himself. After retiring, he starting carrying out charitable work as part of the Rotary Club and became chairman of Parkinson’s Northland, where he has been a resource person for those newly diagnosed because “when you’re newly diagnosed, you’re pretty blindsided”.

“Helping others is one of the main things you can do for your health. I don’t think I got depressed, but it is a symptom. What I did find is it’s good to mix with other people who have got Parkinson’s, so I went in walking groups where we could walk at our own pace and talk about things, not just the meds we were on, but other things like family. It was upbeat.”

Peter Garelja in his happy place at Glinks Gully.

In a further proactive move, he is taking it a step further and returning, with Raewyn, back to West Auckland in a full-circle move. “It’s part of that planning and we don’t want to do things reactive, so we’re going into a retirement village which is completely independent but will also have assistance on hand,” he explains.

“We’ve spent the last 10 years living up here in Glinks Gully, and it’s been really important to get that Northland identity and I’ve celebrated that. We had two wonderful dogs, who sadly passed away, but that was part of my therapy, walking along the beach with them. I’d sit there on the log eating my apple and watch the waves going in and out. I’d contemplate the world and then we’d go home. I’ve used the beach and Northland as my saviour, so it’s been learning to live life in the slow lane.”

As well as beach walks, life in the slow lane has included writing (though he says his hand-writing is now non-existent) - both short stories and family history - reading, a daily Wordle, photography and making music playlists for people.

The worst symptom for Garelja is loss of mobility. “I’ve always been active and taken that for granted and now, getting out of your seat is like an Olympic sport. I had a couple of bad falls last year which knocked my confidence but, like a boxer, I got back up. I dislocated my shoulder and ended up in hospital. Part of Parkinson’s is you can get this freezing, you want to walk but you just can’t.”

“I’m of Dalmatian stock and we’re pretty stoic, we’re pretty stubborn and we hang in there. You’ll never hear me say I’m fighting - I don’t fight Parkinson’s. I actually accept Parkinson’s as part of me.”

As part of Garelja’s journey, he travelled to Croatia alone a couple of years ago to meet family. “I always felt I had a trip in me and it’s part of my identity.”

Now, it’s time for that final journey.

“I’ve had a great team around me - my wife and doctors, but Northland’s also been part of my reason for why I’ve done really well. It’s a slow lifestyle, and slowness forces you to reflect and to take time and smell the roses.

“I used to live by this Neil Young song [featuring the lyric], ‘It’s better to burn out than to fade away’. Well, I don’t think I believe in that now. I was a high-flyer, but there’s a price you pay along the way. It’s been therapeutic - slowing down in life.”