Kieran Nash. Photo / Herald on Sunday
Reporter Kieran Nash has donned his boxing gloves for a good cause - raising money for KidsCan. He's building up for a corporate fight night in November and has some big decisions to make.
This week, I'm going to need a little assistance. And you, dear reader, are going to help me.
I need a name. A fight name. Something mean and tough that will strike fear in to the heart of my opponent. Something cool and slick which will stick.
I've had many
a nickname - Kevin, Karen, Keyring and Scrubby the World's Strongest Teenager. But none of these are going to make my opponent quiver in fear. This is one of the most important decisions I will have to make in my entire 10-week boxing career. A fight name can stick with you forever.
"Iron" Mike Tyson - there's a reason he wasn't known as "Tiny" Mike Tyson.
And it never hurts to include a bit of the fighter's background. Take Samuel Peter - the name is as bog-standard as it gets. But when you're known as "The Nigerian Nightmare," people will think twice about making disparaging comments about you. You can also tie your fight name in to your real name, like Michael "Second to" Nunn.
Although there aren't too many names running beyond three words, exceptions can be made - such as one of my personal favourites, Lew Jenkins "The Sweet Swatter from Sweetwater, Texas".
You can also tie in some of my background: I'm a reporter, originally from Northland and I'm really white, sweaty and hairy.
But, Kieran "The Sweaty Albino Sasquatch From Up North" Nash will not be chosen.
Already the Airforce boys training with me have dubbed me Kieran "Bad News" Nash. This is closer to the kick-ass fight name I'm after.
Another important choice you can help me with is the entrance song.
This sure-fire way to get in to fight mode was pioneered by Muhammad Ali in September 1977 when the boxing great chose the Star Wars theme song to be played inside Madison Square Garden as he walked to the ring to do battle with Earnie Shavers.
But times have changed and so has music. I'm after something with guitars, double-kick drums and lots of distortion.
So send a name and song to kieran.nash@hos.co.nz. I might even manage a seat for you, courtesy of the Herald on Sunday. And if you'd like to help out my fundraising effort for KidsCan, a charity that helps young Kiwis in poverty, please visit www.fundraiseonline.co.nz/kierannash
