KEY POINTS:
Dads have finally broken into one of the last bastions of motherhood - the "Bounty pack" which most Kiwi mothers receive when they have a baby.
The Christchurch-based Father and Child Trust has obtained charity funding to include a 54-page magazine for new dads in 15,000 Bounty packs
distributed in Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch over the next six months.
"It's the first time there's ever been anything for fathers," said the trust's Auckland co-ordinator, Brendon Smith, a father of two.
The Wellington-based Families Commission has also taken up support for fathers as one of its priorities for the next three years, starting with two "fathering conversations" facilitated by Richard Aston of mentoring agency Big Buddy in Wellington and Auckland.
Commission chief executive Paul Curry said the initiative came out of a national survey of 180 parenting organisations which found a lack of support for fathers.
Mr Aston said parenting agencies such as Parents Centres and Barnardos had joined the project.
"They have realised that a lot of their parenting programmes are centred around mothers and are run by women. They are keen to find out about fathers," he said.
"Fathers go along with their wives to the antenatal classes and there's half an hour, or 10 minutes in some cases, where all the fathers get together. And that's it. They have needs as well: what's my place in this?"
He said the former head of the Families Commission, Dr Rajen Prasad, found that hospitals tagged new babies with their mothers' names.
"He said, we should have the father's name on that tag."
The commission invited 40 dads to the first "conversation" in Wellington in May and about 30 to the Auckland event this month.
"The first thing that surprised me is that men like to sit around and talk about fathering for hours. The women involved in Barnardos can't believe it," Mr Aston said.
He said men who had been involved in the birth of their children - catching the baby when it came out of the birth canal and cutting the umbilical cord - reported they felt bonded with their children for life.
Some midwives went out of their way to include fathers, for example showing them how to support their partners when they were breastfeeding.
"It's a subtle thing, but hey, I've just become a grandfather and I saw it happen," Mr Aston said. "My daughter said, 'I haven't got enough milk.' The young father understood to say, 'Hang on, it'll come, it takes time."'
The conversations also discussed the need for paid parental leave for fathers, and for employers to give fathers time off when they needed to be with their children.
Mr Curry said the Families Commission was about to issue a request for proposals for research on the services available and what was needed. A report is expected early next year.
* www.fatherandchild.net.nz
* www.bounty.co.nz
