The man encouraged his daughter not to tell anyone. Photo / 123rf
The man encouraged his daughter not to tell anyone. Photo / 123rf
WARNING: This story details incest and may be upsetting.
A father who watched pornography including incest porn whenever he was stressed, has been jailed for grooming and touching his daughter for more than 10 years.
It only came to light when she told her mother and he turned himself into police.
The middle-aged Asian man broke down at the Waitākere District Court on Thursday, sobbing audibly through his face mask at one point as he waited to hear his sentence, delivered to him through an interpreter.
He has permanent name suppression to protect the identity of his daughter, now a teenager.
It happened in her bedroom and in the bathroom when his wife was away, in the shower, or in bed.
"You encouraged her not to tell her mother about the offending," Judge Lisa Tremewan said, addressing the neatly dressed man standing with head bowed and hands clasped in the dock.
On one occasion, the man took his daughter on a trip where they stayed in a motel room for three nights.
There, he touched her when giving her a shower and tried to start oral sex twice but stopped when she said it felt weird.
On another occasion, he entered the bathroom when she was showering and explained to her what masturbation was, before placing her hand over his to masturbate his penis until he ejaculated.
Things came to a head the year she turned 17 and told him to stop. The two of them had an argument, and she finally told her mother.
When his wife confronted him, he admitted what he did and turned himself in to police.
In formal interviews, he told police he has watched porn throughout his life when he was stressed, including content with father and daughter themes which made him curious to try it on his daughter.
The case painted an "unfortunate, tragic picture of suffering for this family", said the man's lawyer Joon Yi.
The man had no previous convictions but it was not possible to get letters of support from friends and family to attest to his character because of the fear they would find out what he had done.
However his wife and daughter wrote letters speaking of "his role in the family" despite the offending, Yi told the court.
Waitākere District Court Judge Lisa Tremewan. Photo / Peter Meecham
Crown prosecutor Ryan Benic said this was a fall from grace, but what happened over more than 10 years was not a momentary lapse in judgment.
"There is a clear abuse of trust," said Judge Tremewan. "Your daughter was entitled to look to you to protect her, not abuse her.
"You have placed her in a terrible situation which no child should ever have to bear," she said, pausing after each sentence to allow the interpreter to relay it to the man.
"The conflicting emotions [your daughter] feels is indicative of what can happen with intra-familial abuse."
She said the man did not use physical force but used his position as the child's father to make her subject to his actions.
The fact he groomed his daughter was an aggravating factor, along with the planning and premeditation, his gross breach of trust, her vulnerability, and the harm caused over a long time.
But the man also pleaded guilty and took responsibility early on. "It is clear you have extreme remorse," she said.
In April, he pleaded guilty in court and was convicted on 13 charges, most of them representative - sexual conduct with a child under 12, sexual conduct with a young person, sexual violation by unlawful sexual connection, and sexual conduct with a dependent family member.
A background report showed he had abandonment issues from his upbringing and isolated himself in ways that could have resulted in his poor choices.
Judge Tremewan sentenced him to six years and six months in jail without a minimum period of imprisonment, saying his release will be determined by the parole board and he will be registered as a child sex offender.
The man bowed to the judge before he was taken away by security officers.
If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111. If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone, contact Safe to Talk confidentially, any time 24/7: • Call 0800 044 334 • Text 4334 • Email support@safetotalk.nz • For more info or to web chat visit safetotalk.nz Alternatively contact your local police station - click here for a list.If you have been sexually assaulted, remember it's not your fault.
