Exploring the 'mid-life crisis'

How can mid-life be such a drama for some but not for others? REBECCA WALSH reports.

Mention the words "mid-life crisis" and an image of a 45-year-old executive racing out to buy a red sports car and eloping with his secretary might spring to mind.

Or maybe it's a 39-year-old businesswoman discovering she has left it too late for children and beginning a string of affairs and wild business deals.

Most people can come up with a scenario to fit what is typically known as the mid-life crisis. But does it exist, and if so, how common it it?

Psychologist Hanck van Bilsen says the term can be tagged to different experiences, from the successful 47-year-old manager who discovers he can go no further and tumbles into depression, to someone who has been a top athlete only to have their performance decline.

Alternatively, it might be a woman who stayed home raising her children and is at a loss when they move out.

Mr van Bilsen says it's not a myth but a simple psychological phenomenon.

"If you want to give it a label it's probably the discovery that life is going downhill ... it's that discovery and not being able to come to terms with it."

The 47-year-old manager may resort to fiddling the books or having affairs. Someone else may suddenly decide to sell their business and take up a completely different lifestyle.

Mr van Bilsen says often such behaviour is a way of coping with depression and avoiding our own inability to deal with our mortality.



Peoples' physical health and appearance may also be a catalyst.



But associate professor Paul Merrick, a clinical psychologist at Massey University's Albany campus, believes the mid-life crisis is an "overrated phenomenon".

"We tend to think development stops around 20. We forget development continues right throughout our lifespan. There are huge changes taking place in our 60s and 70s as we have to adapt to changing circumstances.

"We put a heavy emphasis on those middle years but they represent only one of those developmental phases."

Dr Susan Gee, research fellow at Victoria University's School of Psychology, says research in the late 1970s indicated mid-life crises were common, but that is not now thought to be true.

"You have an idea that resonates with people. They can see there are some people going through turmoil in their middle years but it's a big step from that to say it's a common experience or typical experience," she says.

"I don't think a majority of people experience it. I think mid-life is a real time of responsibility. When you are making changes it has big impacts, it's different from when you are young.

"You can change your job when you are young and single and it doesn't have the impact it does when you are older.

"You don't want mid and later life to be a time of turmoil and crisis but you don't want to make the assumption that it should be a time of utter stability, that you are settled in.

"There's a balance there about being open to transitions at any time of life that is quite important."

Associate Professor Merrick says most people take those changes in their stride, but he acknowledges that some struggle to adapt.



While typically seen as more a male phenomenon, mid-life crises in women have been linked with menopause or children leaving home.

But Dr Gee says research has found that is not the case for most.

Many enjoyed the freedom they had when their children left and their relationships often improved. For most, menopause had advantages and disadvantages.

"It's a transition they move through. "

Although those suffering from mid-life crises may be in the minority, the experts say they are hitting people younger than in their 40s and 50s.

People who tend to suffer the most are those who have invested an enormous amount in a limited area of life.

And those who have difficulties with other aspects of their life may be more susceptible.

Dr Gee says the way an individual handles a potential crisis also plays a part. One person might see stress as a challenge, but someone else may say "it's too much, I can't deal with that".

The best protection is a balanced lifestyle, Mr van Bilsen suggests - a "reasonably pleasant job" that you don't invest too many hours in, good friends, interests in sports, academic and spiritual things and enjoying being on your own.

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