However, being a passing fan of the 15-man game and having seen just how many people have indeed turned up on our shores, I thought I'd help the foreigners who are taking their lives into their hands when driving on Kiwi roads.
Listed below are a few salient facts for the jonny foreigners (a term of endearment for the social engineers who think I'm being derogatory) in an effort to help them avoid being taken out by a gormless New Zealand driver.
Next week I'll be suggesting a few tips for foreign drivers in an effort to stop them raising the ire of folk who have to live here after they gone.
Okay, here goes.
The "I'm turning left at a junction but have to wait for you opposite me to turn right across all the lanes" give-way rule.
Don't worry too much about trying to understand this one. Most New Zealand drivers don't have a clue either and most forget anyway.
The rule applies only in New Zealand and causes a fair amount of chaos. It is going to be changed but not while the RWC is on.
Be careful of Kiwi drivers thundering into an intersection turning right, expecting the world to know exactly what they are going to do. Most of the time they don't.
Next we have indicating, or the lack thereof.
While modern cars now come fitted with an indicator stalk, most Kiwi drivers think it's still an optional extra. They use it to hang things from.
Most drivers who live here think that mental telepathy is the way to go and expect other drivers to just know when they want to change lanes.
We also have the driver here in New Zealand who waits until another car has pulled up alongside him, glances out the window at the passing car and then pulls out. As the front of the passing car tries to bury itself under the tarmac under heavy braking, said offender puts his indicator on just in case the offended driver didn't realise what was going to happen.
Moving swiftly on. You'll be forgiven for thinking most Kiwi drivers are myopic, for that can be the only reason why they follow so close.
I initially thought it was because they were interested in reading an old magazine I had on the back parcel shelf, but soon realised they have no concept of safe braking distances.
There will be times you'll be looking in the rear vision mirror and be unable to see the following car's headlights.
If by chance you are driving safely to the conditions and leaving a gap to the car in front, don't be overly alarmed if someone cuts in front thinking the gap was for them rather than saving a few lives. You'll at times think you're on a race track when driving on our motorways as cars go flying past on the left and right.
Don't be overly alarmed, as we in this country can pass when, where and how we like. Don't try to get out of the way of the car coming up behind you because you might just plant yourself in front of some mad fool howling up the inside.
Treat it as a motor race - hold your line, don't deviate either way and let the crazies find their own way past.
Speaking of crazies, please note that driving in New Zealand and using a cellphone is illegal. I know, I know, it doesn't seem that way.
At traffic lights up and down the country you'll just about see everyone using one, either speaking or texting.
Yes, I did say texting.
When being passed by a driver at 100km/h who appears to be looking down, he or she is not in fact looking for something, but rather texting a mate about what they had for lunch, or whatever.
Eyes on the road at all times? Not in this country.
Truck drivers are supposed to keep to 90km/h but all appear to be running late for something or other and thunder along at up to 110km/h at times.
When coming across these road behemoths - you see, we have things called milk tankers and whopping great logging trucks here - the best advice is to pull over and let them through.
When not going flat out they delight in seeing how many cars they can hold up behind them and, just for the hell of it, try to pass each on the only passing lanes you'll come across in kilometres.
There's more but it all gets a bit depressing.
I've mentioned the bigger issues but will end on a particular trait we have here that will frighten you visitors half to death.
New Zealand pedestrians think they are bulletproof.
Stupid I know, but a lot of them think they have as much right to use a public highway as a car. They will just step off the pavement into the traffic.
If by chance you have the car, skill sets, reactions and good luck to avoid a prime candidate for a Darwinian Award, don't be too surprised to get a tongue-lashing by the person who nearly gave you a heart attack.
Needless to say it was entirely your fault.
So welcome, visitors.
Stay alert and watch everywhere from you're 6 o'clock to your 12 o'clock and back to your 6 o'clock again.
Good luck out there and take care.
