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Opinion
Home / New Zealand

Eric Thompson: Flash me - I won't be offended

Eric Thompson
Opinion by
Eric Thompson
NZ Herald·
8 Feb, 2011 04:30 PM3 mins to read
Eric Thompson is a motorsport writer for NZME

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Right there, on the steering column ... it's an indicator. Photo / APN

Right there, on the steering column ... it's an indicator. Photo / APN

Eric Thompson writes that too many Kiwi drivers appear not to know what their indicators are for.

I now know in exactly what communication direction the human race is heading. And I hate to tell all the telco companies and electronic gadget manufacturers, it's not in the i-thingy, or such like, direction.

It's mental telepathy. You know, it's where you think something and everyone around you picks
up on your thoughts and knows exactly what you're going to do before you do it.

Well, to be perfectly honest, we're only halfway there so far. The sending of thought waves is prevalent on our roads, but we haven't mastered the means of receiving said thought yet. Therefore, that's why the cars we all drive have gadgets, knobs, buttons, levers etc to let other road users know what we might be about to do BEFORE IT HAPPENS.

One such gizmo in the car is attached to the steering column, and has been for about 40 years. So, you'd think most drivers would have come across one by now.

However, the humble indicator - it's that stalk thingy, for the uninitiated, which sticks from the steering column with arrows pointing up and down and is used to INDICATE your intentions - remains invisible to for far too many drivers out there.

As we are all discovering to own costs, most New Zealand drivers have a nucleotide buried in their DNA that imparts some sort of God-given right to do what the hell they like, at any given time, on any given piece of road.

To top it all off, when the non-indicating bozo does get either T-boned, rear-ended or taken out because they decided the rest of the world would get out of their way - they have the audacity to clamber out of the car and yell, "Didn't you bloody see me?" Well yes, fool, I did. I just didn't think you were about to put your car slap bang in front of mine without any warning whatsoever.

Almost as irritating is the driver who looks straight at you on the motorway as you're pulling alongside. This has happened to me quite a few times I might add. Just as I draw level, on comes the indicator in the muppet's car and the gap between us rapidly reduces.

Not only do I start to look a little worried, but there's also a fair amount of concern on the passenger's face in the rear seat as by now she can read the time on my watch we're so close.

I can't move over to the right as the traffic is blasting along nose-to-tail in the fast lane, as is their right. Also, I'm being tailgated by some irritating git who's trying to get into the inside lane.

Passenger in gonzo's car starts shouting and when he looks again to see our wing mirrors overlapping the look on his face is worth every bit of mild concern I was starting to have.

The last I saw was him shaking his fist through the window at me. I must admit I did have a hint of a smile the rest of the way home.

Try and remember folks. When you do decide to use the indicator it doesn't mean the rest of the vehicle world slams on its collective brakes so that you get what you want. In an effort to enlighten the unenlightened, here is the definition of what the act of indicating means: To state or express, especially briefly or in a general way; signal. To be a sign of, or imply (Dictionary.com). Note the word to imply - it means before you do it.

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