Summer polls: Cellphones too big for youngsters

Tony Versey limits the time Kayla can have her cellphone. Picture / Alan Gibson

It took six months for Tony Versey to discover that the cellphone his daughter Kayla got for Christmas last year was not as innocent as he thought.

Another parent told him of a text message Kayla, now 13, forwarded "loaded with expletives and foul language", so he took it from her.

He returned it after a fortnight, thinking it was just one bad text, but a few months later took it again because the text action had moved to an uncomfortable level, including "very overt" propositions from boys.

Mr Versey, a Baptist minister, swears he was not being puritanical.

"Texting is a safe environment to say whatever you want, in a non-invasive way, but it then made the boys a lot braver than what they might have been when they were in person.

"If it was just flirting, it was very strong. It's not like the old days where you had to go face-to-face during school and ask girls out. It can be done under the sheets at 11pm at night."

Mr Versey found out Kayla and her friends were also using texts for "malicious and destructive gossip".

Now he agrees with the 44 per cent of respondents in a Herald-DigiPoll survey who believed that 15 or 16 was the best age for young people to get their own cellphones (click on the 'More Pictures' link above for survey results).

They were among the 56 per cent who opted for 14 to 17.

Nearly a quarter of the 800 respondents chose ages from 10 to 13, and 13 per cent thought teenagers should wait until they are 18 or over.

Mr Versey thinks 15 is about right for a personal cellphone.

"We thought it had good safety benefits, being able to contact her and so on. Our daughter is not a bad kid at all, but 13-year-olds don't have the maturity to cope with what the phones can do."

NetSafe programme manager Claire Balfour was not surprised at Mr Versey's story.

"There are many, many shocked parents when they find out what has been going on. The kids will just say, 'It's just a way of talking', but it can be inappropriate."

A nationwide online Census AtSchool survey of 30,000 Year 5 to Year 10 students this year found that two- thirds had their own cellphone, and by Year 10 (14 to 15 year olds), 85 per cent had one.

But parents need to keep a close watch. Ms Balfour says safety is the main benefit for parents, but they should check what the phone can do and impose guidelines for its use, including barring calls.

She has also heard of inappropriate photos circulating.

"The capabilities of their phones are often way ahead of the understanding of their parents.

"Kids don't think through what they are doing sometimes and those magic moments on video phones are not necessarily the right ones to send out for their own privacy."

After three months without a cellphone, Kayla got hers back just before Christmas, but only for two days a week between 9am and 9pm.

Her parents now monitor it more closely. "I've bought myself a shotgun since then," Mr Versey says.

Kayla admits she got angry when her phone was taken off her.

But now she thinks 14 is perhaps the best age to get a cellphone.

At 12, she was probably too young, she says.

"I just don't think we understand how to use them, and what they can do," Kayla says.

The experience with Kayla's phone means her three younger siblings will have to wait until they are 14 or 15 before they get mobiles.

Vodafone spokeswoman Leigh Owens says the company markets only to people 16 and over.

She says Vodafone also encourages parents to keep an eye on the cellphones and, as part of its partnership with NetSafe, is about to release a booklet for parents to explain what problems can arise, and what mobile phones are good to use.

It also has a Stop Txt Bullying campaign up and running.

Netsafe advice for parents

* Check what the phone can do. Does the child really need to be able to access the internet or take photos (which can be forwarded)?

* Get a "family-wide" phone to give to children only for occasions when they need one, eg when going to the movies.

* Get a phone account rather than pre-pay because the bill lists the phone calls made. Dock pocket money if the children exceed a limit.

* Don't knee-jerk if naughty deeds are uncovered. Many children sneak out and buy their own pre-pay phones without revealing it to parents. Better to stay in the loop to keep an eye on things.

* Keep in touch with other parents. Vigilance is helped by many eyes.