Sideswipe

A tight spot? Taken by a New Zealander in Paris; A Kissy face tree (see article below).

Nail these facial features to your 100--year-old Pohutukawa: A range of expressive faces for your favourite tree - a prankster face, grumpy face and glow-in-the-dark varieties. Facial features made of resin are tinted to blend into the natural crannies of tree bark and hang from nails.

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A Te Awamutu dairy farmer was having problems with his effluent sprayer - it was jammed and not distributing the animal waste cocktail from the cowshed on to the paddocks properly. He drove up to the end of the sprayer arm in his new ute and from the driver's seat fiddled with it. Somehow he managed to catch the towing strop under his ute, which pulled the sprayer arm around to jam in his window. This sudden jerk on the sprayer fixed the jam and effluent intended for the paddocks sprayed mercilessly into his ute. Unable to stop the flow, he eventually escaped out the passenger door and stopped the sprayer by the time the effluent had reached the top of the seats. (Source: Te Awamutu Courier.)

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A reader suggests it's rather droll that the Maxim Institute, whose director was in trouble after revelations of plagiarism, has at the end of its latest newsletter this warning: "If items are published elsewhere, Maxim should be acknowledged." Perhaps to be safe it should also read "and thanks to anyone Maxim copied this from".

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Reader Ian Porten of Green Bay realised how different the Australian and New Zealand accents are while working as a radiographer across the ditch. "A patient was lying on the x-ray table and I called out to her to hold her breath; as I looked over, she reached up with both hands and held on to her breasts. Another incident involved a different patient who I asked to take off her jewellery. I asked her if she'd mind removing the necklace that she'd left on. She hesitated, gave me a funny look and proceeded to remove her knickers."

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Taxman in the Sky: The British Government has advised tax collectors to use satellite photographs to monitor homes for additions or modifications that can boost the value of the property - and the taxes owners must pay. "Aerial photographs are particularly effective in rural areas where improvements are hard to see from the road," a manual for tax inspectors explains. (Source: reason.com)