Sideswipe

Would you like fries with that? A marriage made in heaven...hamburger heaven.

Carol Grace went into St Lukes to see if her mobile phone had been fixed. She writes: "A lovely young man looked up on his computer. 'Yes, it is fixed and ready. I will have a look and see if it has arrived.' Goes to safe. Eureka! I asked him to put my SIM card in for me as I have only had my mobile phone since October and only know the basics. I thanked him, got about 200m and my phone rings. I have one missed call. I retrieved the call and a lovely young female voice says, 'Hello Mrs Grace, it is February 15 and I am ringing you to let you know your mobile phone is ready to be picked up'. Just as well I went in ... I could have been waiting a very long time."

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A paranoid smoker from Grey Lynn writes: "The perils of smoking in outside areas of restaurants meant I waited for a young man a table away to finish his meal before lighting up. But after a couple of satisfying puffs and a gulp of chardonnay, I heard two distinct and delicate coughs from his table. I did what all smokers do in this situation, kept smoking, refusing to look in the direction of the passive-aggressor. Cough, cough. I stubbornly puffed on, finished the cigarette and then, curiosity having the better of me, took a geek at this delicate flower of young manhood whose lungs were suffering second-hand cigarette smoke in the open air and at a distance of at least 2m. He was smoking."

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Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's separation has cost Madame Tussauds more than $26,000. The couple were the first joined waxworks figures at the museum. A source said: "It's made museum bosses think twice when it comes to celebrity couples". Brad needed a new arm and Jennifer had to have a whole new torso. "They will re-enter the museum in the same area but with some distance between them." (Source: Ananova.com)

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A 67-year-old Spaniard disguised as a Roman Catholic bishop was arrested in a Venezuelan airport with nearly 9kg of cocaine under his cassock last week. Angel Velasco Padilla was trying to board a flight for Spain at at Maiquetia international airport near the capital Caracas. Police said he was carrying 7.9kg of cocaine in his belt, and 12 drug packets in his underwear. Velasco told authorities he was a member of a Dutch archdiocese and had been in Venezuela for a week to attend a meeting. But Venezuela's Catholic Church said no Velasco was listed in the ecclesiastic registry or in the archdiocese to which he claimed to belong, and there had been no meeting in Venezuela. (Source: AFP)