Sideswipe

Toilet sweets: This week's special in New Lynn.

On Tuesday, as part of the Auckland Museum's school holiday money-maker of Ancient Egypt-themed activities, 10 to 13-year-olds will be able to "mummify a fish and build its coffin". It has to be asked: does the museum provide the corpses or is it euthanasia for the family pet?

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First low-carb beers, now energy beers: Budweiser is rolling out a beer that contains caffeine, guarana and ginseng. Now, those who choose to get drunk on beer can do it wide awake while experiencing caffeine-induced palpitations. (Source: Adrants.com)

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All Blacks are suggesting the top tourist activities in their area for visiting Lions fans on the Tourism New Zealand newzealand.com website. Otago's Carl Hayman recommends fishing for trout in Lake Hawea, and Rotorua's Craig Newby says a round of golf at Hamurana Golf Resort would be a winner, but Mils Muliaina's plug for Invercargill falls a little flat. He reckons one of the top things to do there is grab a Jimmy's mince and cheese pie from the Night 'N Day Foodstore.

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Some euphemisms spotted on gravestones in Abney Park cemetery, North London.

1: completed this chapter.
2: fell asleep.
3: called to rest.
4: passed away.
5: sleeping in Jesus.
6: at home in the Lord.
7: departed this life.
8: entered into rest.
9: suddenly called home.
10: resting.
11: in the care of their creator.
12: went to the higher life.
13: satisfied.

(Source: Roddy Doyle at vitaminq.blogspot.com)

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This wonderful story comes from a reader of the Sydney Morning Herald. "Last weekend I organised a treasure hunt for an 11-year-old's birthday party. With all the clues in place, I headed to the beach to bury the pirate's loot. Several hours later the kids were digging it up when the birthday boy appeared with a business card he had found on top of the (chocolate) gold coins. Had I included a note from the police? It turned out an onlooker had observed me burying the chest, together with some giant knives (a couple of plastic pirate swords) and called the authorities. After I left, the police moved in to dig up the suspicious chest. Finding only marshmallows and no weapons or decomposing body parts, they proceeded to quietly rebury the treasure. They very kindly left their calling card, signed 'We found it first'. They did, but we think they were cheating."