Sideswipe

Not usually inclined to cutesy pictures of animals, Sideswipe was impressed with the black humour expressed by the owner in submitting this picture.

Flatmates from Hell: Third instalment.

Gavin would cook his dinner at 7pm every night in a pot. Always the same dinner, two-minute noodles, carrots and peas, cooked in this pot and eaten out of the pot - which lived in his bedroom. Weekly food bill about $15.

2 Gavin would also read the Herald from cover to cover each day and every article he read would be ticked off with a ballpoint pen.

3 I had flatmates who would do washing and then leave it in the machine for about three days, until the smell permeated through the house. Then they'd wash it again and then leave it on the line for an average of three weeks.

5 Flatmate Y has take-out for dinner, and seeing the kitchen rubbish bin almost full, avoids that bin and goes directly to the wheelie bin outside, thus avoiding any responsibility to empty the kitchen bin.

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Trashy diversion: "I gave Paris Hilton a rat called Tori Spelling for Christmas, and Paris loved her. Rats make great pets. I told Tori about how I named my rat after her, and Tori said that it was funny, but I could tell it hurt her feelings. Tori felt that I think her face looks like a rat's, but I actually own six rats and I named each after a character on Beverly Hills 90210, like Shannen Doherty and Luke Perry. But Tori didn't know that, so she was upset." Nicole Richie as reported on the New York Post's Page Six gossip column.

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Children's bank accounts: A reader writes, "Today my wife went into our bank to open an account for our 1-year-old, to set him on the path for saving for his future. Imagine her horror after being told that his negligible interest earnings would be taxed, at a rate of 19 per cent with an IRD number, or 33 per cent without. Does a 1-year-old require a tax return to recover a few cents?"

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Just another bludger? Susan Zeleskidovich from Hamilton has a deal for a willing employer. "As a beneficiary for the past five years, your taxes have paid for our food, rent, clothing for myself and my children, school fees, camping trips, presents for birthdays and Christmas, my continued education which also earned me a computer and free internet for a year, a warrant and rego for my car which you also paid for, and the list goes on. I think it's now about time I repaid your kindness, so I am offering you a chance to accept my offer to work for you. Not only will I work for you, I will gladly do so for no pay for one month in exchange for experience and training. And after one month, if you don't find me suitable (highly unlikely), I would be more than happy with a reference." If you're interested in contacting (or employing) Susan, please contact Sideswipe