Sideswipe

The Best and worst of SideSwipe 2002 - 2004

Accusations of sexism fly from an anonymous reader: "Labelling John Campbell as a 'piece of broadcast crumpet' is the typical sexist type of comment so commonly made by New Zealand women these days. Such comments would elicit shrill indignant cries from people such as you, should a female broadcaster be labelled in the same way." Sideswipe sincerely apologises to Mr John Campbell for oppressing him with its sexist description. We also apologise if Mr Campbell's ability to gain equal pay has been impaired, his personal safety compromised and his feeling of self-worth diminished as a result of the demeaning phrase.

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Dear Winston, I am an Aucklander desperately in need of help. As a retailer, every day I have to suffer the indignity of immigrants spending money in my store. My partner has to endure the ignominy of earning a generous salary teaching English to immigrants, many of whom have the audacity to be hard-working and keen to learn. As if to add insult to injury, many immigrants are shamelessly opening restaurants, cafes and stores, making the city of my birth a much more interesting place to live. My own life has been considerably enriched by exposure to other perspectives and cultures, making me long for the simplicity of Auckland as it was 20 years ago. Please continue your campaign of populist xenophobia and end this madness now. Yours, Aidan Halligan.

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Media moments from the last election: Let's put a stop to the First Lady syndrome right now. Mary English, glued to her husband's side and looking like a startled Jackie Kennedy, was an unnecessary accoutrement to Bill's post-campaign purging. Then as he delivered his final comments to TV3 News, she appeared perfectly placed in the shot over his left shoulder. It was all a bit "Norman Bates' mother", not to mention demeaning, and there were no more votes to be got.

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Reader John Robertson did a double take when he saw an advertisement seeking members for the National Domestic Violence Approval Panel. Yes, that is the title of the body, although it approves programmes aimed at stopping violence.

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A reader called to inform Sideswipe of a little-known, yet insidious method of disease spreading committed by our Minister of Health Annette King, who was seen on television to lick her finger before turning a page in a document. "Is she not aware of hepatitis?" our concerned caller asks.

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Takapuna shoppers were startled at the sight of a young man being chased down the street by a fully costumed clown. Thinking it was a publicity stunt, shoppers responded to the clown's cries of "stop thief" with gales of laughter, the North Shore Times Advertiser reported. But this was no stunt. A security officer, dressed as a clown for a store's A Day at the Circus promotion, was trying to catch a suspected shoplifter. Despite being impeded by his gigantic, floppy shoes, Mr Chuckles caught a young man at Takapuna beach.