Sideswipe

A hands-free cellphone adaptor.

Opinion

The best and the worst, 2002 - 2004

Sideswipe has received 45 orders for the hands-free cellphone adaptor (above) ... A closer look at the picture with the story will reveal that the hands-free cellphone adaptor is a humble rubber band. If you are feeling a little silly right now, take comfort in the fact you are not alone. To clarify, the story was satire, a joke, not true. Although it is a darn good idea to get a hands-free cellphone adaptor, the Land Transport Safety Authority says no ban on the use of cellphones while driving in New Zealand is planned.

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Brendan from Papatoetoe shares tales from the inorganic refuse collection experience. "All these lovely people taking the day off to come and visit me the moment I place a broken three-legged chair or a dilapidated mattress on the kerbside. I work from home, and I counted 82 vehicles stopping yesterday to peruse the pile of household nonsense that I'd piled up that morning. By the end of the day, only the legless ironing board remained, although I'm pleased to say that the Herald had disappeared from my letterbox too. Bless them."

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It may sound like a bloody terrible idea, but Ringsted Hospital in Denmark is trying to recruit blood donors with bottles of wine. It isn't pint for pint - for every pint (just over 560ml) of blood, you get half a pint of wine.

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The average New Zealand viewer shares his/her opinion on New Zealand documentaries in the NZ On Air audience survey: Viewers enjoyed uplifting documentaries showing New Zealanders succeeding in the face of obstacles ... Such documentaries can also reinforce how lucky viewers are (eg, to have legs, to not be obese). "You have on your mind, oh my goodness, if I didn't have my legs that would be it. But then you see people and they have lost their legs and they are happy, and it is really uplifting."

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Sideswipe anti-fans: Apparently long-time reader, first-time correspondent "Andrew" writes via email: "After reading your column I have concluded that you are the most arrogant person to ever write anything in the Herald. [Perhaps, until we published this diatribe - AS] Why don't you just keep your worthless opinions to yourself for the sake of everyone who reads the Herald? [Andrew, why don't you try repeating this question while looking in a mirror?] I doubt that anyone believes that you have anything helpful to say at all, to anyone. [Repeat mirror manoeuvre suggested above.] You always manage to find something bad to say about anyone whose opinion you disagree with. [And ditto.] Go and write your pointless column in Woman's Day or any other magazine for bored housewives. I'm sure you would fit right in with the rest of them in trying to make themselves feel that their lives have meaning by reading about celebrities and other people who you know you will never be. By the way, you are also ugly. [Still standing in front of that mirror, Andrew?]