An advance copy of Labour's pre-election pledge card brazenly leaked by kiwiblog.co.nz:
1. We will promise to consider, maybe, one day, if we are in a good mood, giving people some of their money back. But only if we like you.
2. We will have a school qualifications system that
no one can understand, so those who fail cannot be discriminated against.
3. We will appoint George Hawkins as ambassador to Niue to get him out of the police portfolio.
4. We will have a weekly phone-in poll to determine what stupid venture each week we waste $10 million on.
5. We will reclassify people on waiting lists for operations as waiting for waiting lists and hence not count them.
6. We will retrospectively change the speed limit to 180 km/h so there is no need for a court case on August 1 involving the PM.
7. Fill in this one yourself. We will promise you whatever you would like us to, if you'll vote for us, as long as it involves spending and not giving people their money back.
* * *
Helen O'Donovan writes: "I am about to head back to England after following the Lions tour. I was very impressed with the 'Welcome to New Zealand, make yourself 100 per cent at home' sign-post flags and was keen to take one home with me. I rang the local city council and they told me to phone the promoters. I have just phoned them, only to be told that the New Zealand Rugby Union wants all the flags destroyed because they don't want courier company DHL to have more advertising coverage than they are owed. What a waste."
* * *
The 10 Lamest Songs of All Time according to antiMusic.com (visit the site for a complete list of The 101 Lamest Songs of All Time):
1. Nookie - Limp Bizkit
2. Shut Up - Kelly Osbourne
3. St Anger - Metallica
4. Sk8tr Boi - Avril Lavigne
5. Cherry Pie - Warrant
6. I Think I Love You - David Cassidy
7. Sweet Child Of Mine - Sheryl Crow
8. Gold Dust Woman - Hole
9. Butterfly - Crazy Town
10. Ice, Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
* * *
A nylon hairnet worn by Coronation Street battleaxe Ena Sharples has sold for £61 ($156) at a Swindon auction, to a German collector. The character, played by the late Violet Carson, appeared in the first episode of the soap in 1960. Christian Haslinger bought the net as a gift for his mother, who watched the series in her youth in Britain. It came with a postcard signed by the actress.
<EM>Sideswipe</EM>
$158 million bill: "Thank goodness the bill is in the wife's name," says Graeme Hansen.
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more
An advance copy of Labour's pre-election pledge card brazenly leaked by kiwiblog.co.nz:
1. We will promise to consider, maybe, one day, if we are in a good mood, giving people some of their money back. But only if we like you.
2. We will have a school qualifications system that
AdvertisementAdvertise with NZME.
