Empowering parents for youngsters' curly questions

GOOD ADVICE: Sexuality educator Rachel Hansen hopes to empower parents to discuss sexuality with their young children and answer their questions.

Rachel Hansen's advice for parents dreading "the big talk" is frank -- if you're not going to educate your child on sexuality, then Google will.

Opaki-based Rachel, an educator, business woman and mum of two, will be the keynote speaker at Of Stalks and Cabbage Patches, a seminar on gender and sexuality for parents of preschoolers, organised by the Wairarapa Parents Centre.

Rachel, who runs similar seminars throughout the North Island and also teaches in schools, said the aim is to empower parents to address their youngsters' "curly questions" about sex, pregnancy and body image.

Though parents can be "freaked out" by such conversations, Rachel said, it is important they discuss sexuality with children from a young age -- to reduce taboos and stigma which can accompany the topic.

This is particularly crucial as, in an era of 24/7 information, children are confronted with the topic much earlier.

"Stereotypically, parents think they should sit their kids down at about 10 or 11 and have 'the talk", Rachel said.

"But sexuality education is an ongoing conversation throughout a kids' life.

"Sex is a lot more out there these days, and kids are trying to make sense of it all -- if they hear the word 'rape' on the radio, they will ask what it means."

Rachel started her career teaching at an area school in London, where she also worked as a guidance counsellor.

Her counselling role inspired her to pursue sexuality education, as she was constantly fielding questions from teens about sexuality and their developing bodies.

"They were being fed a lot of misconceptions," she said.

"For the girls, there was a real shift in their self image around puberty -- trying to adjust to an adult body was quite traumatic for them."

Rachel said the crux of her parent seminars is equipping them to be their children's first teachers, and take the lead in their sexuality education.

If the topic is avoided, youngsters will fill the gaps themselves -- all too easy with increased access to technology.

"I had a woman once tell me her seven-year-old daughter had been looking at pornography," Rachel said.

"She had access to an iPad and typed 'what is a vagina' into Google."

"If you're not the one guiding your child, the internet will be."

She has also met teenagers whose only sexuality education has been online.

"Everything they know, they've learned from porn.

"There are lot of myths that need debunking."

Her Of Stalks and Cabbage Patches seminar covers topics such as answering kids' questions, pregnancy and birth, correct naming of body parts, and the harm of rigid gender roles and stereotypes.

"Kids experiment with gender constructs in preschool years, but it's nothing to be afraid of.

"If your son wears a frilly pink tutu, that doesn't say anything about his gender or his sexuality."

Of Stalks and Cabbage Patches will be held at Wairarapa REAP on Monday, May 16, at 7pm. Contact wairarapa@parents.org.nz for more information.