Dying without dignity

Lesley Martin (L) with her mother Joy. Photo / Supplied

Malcolm Stayner thinks his 79-year-old mother, diagnosed with terminal kidney disease in 2005, would have appreciated the choice of voluntary euthanasia if it had been available.

Instead, Olive Stayner endured along and painful death in a hospice in September 2006.

Stayner's mother elected not to have kidney dialysis after she was diagnosed, arguing her time had come. Stayner, a Wellington project manager, says his mother already suffered from a heart condition and other medical problems.

"My mother was quite adamant that she had reached the end of her life. She wasn't afraid of death. One of her final wishes was she die at home." So her family focused on enjoying those final months with her, rather than on her treatment.

"After Mum was diagnosed, we had a big family Christmas together and celebrated her 80th birthday. We all have wonderful memories from that time."

But as her condition deteriorated, Olive was left feeling exhausted and in pain.

"It was difficult for her to converse in any way and she developed bad bed sores - she was in agony from those."

In the final five months of her life, Stayner says, his mother suffered significantly.

"She was obviously very ill and in a great deal of discomfort. Being in the hospital, she was in an environment that she had not wanted to be in. She had wanted to die at home.

"She was mentally sharp right to the end, although she became less responsive as time went on. Euthanasia would have given her the option of dying with dignity, at home, without tubes everywhere and without being in that clinical environment," Stayner says.

"She had very little quality of life during that time. Euthanasia would have avoided all the trauma she had to go through."

Stayner argues prolonging a person's suffering when they are terminally ill is inhumane.

"It's absolutely ridiculous that people aren't given the choice. If euthanasia is their wish and they have made the decision with a sound mind, who are we to make their last days an inhumane process?"

This is not Stayner's only experience of a loved-one "dying without dignity". A close friend developed melanoma at age 59, and was soon diagnosed with secondary cancer to the throat.

"The doctors told him the cancer was too advanced to operate, but Stewart decided he was going to fight it off."

His friend tried natural remedies and radiation treatment, but nine months after his diagnosis his condition deteriorated.

Stayner said his friend was admitted to Mary Potter Hospice in Wellington, where he spent the final month of his life.

"It was pretty messy at that stage. The cancer had got into his liver and his bowel had become blocked...the medication and stress had taken a toll on his mind as well as his body."

Prolonging this suffering is not right according to Stayner.

"I certainly wouldn't advocate euthanasia on the day the person was diagnosed. But if it has been dragging on for months and the end is inevitable, I believe it should be a conversation a patient can have with their doctor if they choose to."

MURDER OR MERCY?
* 2008
Taumarunui man Ian Crutchley convicted of attempted murder for administering a lethal dose of morphine to his 77-year old mother Elsie. Sentenced to six months, community detention and 150 hours, community service.

* 2002
Vicky Vincent found dead with a plastic bag over her head in her home. Her husband Ralph was investigated by police for assisted suicide but not charged. He was found dead three years later with a suicide note, aged 86.

* 1999
Lesley Martin admitted in To Die Like a Dog twice trying to assist her dying mother to die and was subsequently convicted of attempted murder and sentenced to 15 months in jail.