KEY POINTS:
United Future leader Peter Dunne is standing behind a recycling bin in the far corner of the Auckland University quad, watching warily as an election of a very different type goes on - the election of the two co-presidents for the Meat Club.
Mr Dunne has arrived for
his slot in the university's election lunchtime series to find the AGM of the Meat Club under way. For the Meat Club, democracy in action consists of the two candidates testing their suitability in a noisy '100 shots in 100 minutes' process.
Each minute, with military precision and a shouted 'toast', they drink another shot of beer.
One - Moza - says Mr Dunne is welcome to join them. "I will give him my vote if he does 100 shots."
They are up to 80 shots and Mr Dunne, clearly wondering if they are benign, decides to take pre-emptive action.
He approaches them just before his speech to build a little good will.
They tell him it's not a competition - they're the only two candidates for the two posts. "It's about coalition. Working together for families in New Zealand," they say.
He's impressed by this and his strategy works. They continue with their "election" but their toasts become "Peter" and "United Future".
He outlines his new policy of "zero fees" for university students, instead of making student allowances almost universally available. United Future had previously advocated for a wider availability of allowances, but Labour's announcement that it will phase out the parental income test for allowances has made that redundant.
Now he's figured if student allowances remained as they are, removing student fees instead would cost a similar amount and reduce the debt load on students. The students like the first part but aren't so keen on the second.
His address didn't draw quite the same size crowd as Helen Clark's student allowances announcement the day before, but those eating lunch listened politely and a few even approach him afterward to hear more.
The newly elected Meat Club co-presidents are among them. He congratulates them and they invite him to whet his whistle.
He opts for the "when in Rome" strategy and drinks the can they offer. Not quite 100 shots, and not quite enough to get the vote - one planned to vote Greens, the other Labour - but they seem impressed to see one of Parliament's fustiest MPs happily swigging a Tui and leave him in peace to go and cook some scotch fillets.
