Riding a skateboard inconsiderately is specifically forbidden in Queenstown and Christchurch. Photo / File
Riding a skateboard inconsiderately is specifically forbidden in Queenstown and Christchurch. Photo / File
Opinion
COMMENT:
The Crime Harm Index is a newly devised and important measure of crime in New Zealand. As it happens, it's also good for a few gags.
In response to a push toward research-informed and harm-focused policing, the index gives us a tool to quantify the harm caused by differentcrimes. It applies a score, based on the number of days in prison a first-time offender is likely to be sentenced to for any given crime, or for the number of eight-hour days it would take to pay the fine off for someone earning the minimum wage.
As a result, the index ranks crimes from the most extreme to the downright mundane. Topping the list is Murder with a Firearm (a score of 5337 days). At the very bottom is Displaying an Expired Ticket in a Metered Parking Zone in Tauranga (0.08 days).
But perhaps the most striking thing of the index is the sheer number of categories on the list – 6,621 in total. It's easy to conclude that the average Kiwi may break at least half a dozen laws just by rolling over in bed at night.
While you're there, consider the back stories of how the offenses came to be. What was the event that spurred the law of Misusing a Hand-held Stop Sign? How bored was our stop-go guy that he decided to have a little fun that turned into outrage and then legislation?
And just how much damage can you do before police might see fit to charge you with Mutilating a Statistics Document? Mutilating.
Let's remember, too, that our judicial systems dictates that ignorance of the law excuses no one – so if you do blithely decide to Operate a Train Exceeding 39,000 kg Gross Mass, be that on your shoulders.
And excuse me if you're reading this over your morning toast, but there are at least three different categories of crime involving amorous situations with animals.
Unrelated to any sexual activities, presumably, is the offence of Inserting Foreign Matter into a Parking Meter.
Some laws simply create more laws. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out how the Removed, Obscured, Made Indistinguishable Cruising Warning Notice offence came about. If you erect signs telling young, rebellious boy-racers that they can't cruise the streets, you're extremely likely to lose the odd sign.
One offence type is Child Left in a Detrimental Environment, which Greta Thunberg would argue the Boomers have done to all children. Boom!
An Armed Offenders Squad member at an incident in Hawke's Bay. Photo / Paul Taylor
Different groups, I'm sure would like to see different offenses moved up the list, cycling more than two abreast gains the ire of many drivers, while cyclists would like to see those inconsiderately parking a car treated more severely.
While Riding an Animal on a Motorway is not only ill advised, it's also illegal, and more serious than using a mobile phone while driving but less than Improper Use of Hazard Lights. The latter is obviously topical, if it crossed your mind to use a car to light up your Christmas tree.
The offence related to having Noisy Equipment in a Vehicle is presumably about booming car stereos or thunderous exhausts, and unlikely to be used against screaming kids in the backseat.
The inability to have Liquor in the Vicinity of Dance Hall makes me nostalgic for the 1950s, while the sanctions for Invading the Pitch of Major Sporting Event makes me nostalgic for streakers.
Some of the offences listed are incredibly specific. Damaging the Sod on the Westshore Domain in Napier is clearly unacceptable, for example, but if you want to damage the sod pretty much anywhere else then apparently you're good to go. Riding a Skateboard Inconsiderately is seemingly okay in most of the country, but I'd better not hear about you doing it in Queenstown or Christchurch where it's specifically forbidden.
But while I did find a few laughs scrolling through the index, it's an important tool to look at how we understand crime and prioritise targeting it. This is the reverse of slogan-driven policy – it's the hard numbers that will actually help us create and evaluate policies that might actually work.
But for goodness sake, just remember that, as you head out on your Christmas journeys, there's no Driving on the Grass in Twizel.
• Dr Jarrod Gilbert is the Director of Criminal Justice at the University of Canterbury and the lead researcher at Independent Research Solutions.
