Murder accused Antonie Dixon described today how he was sexually abused as a child by his mother and family friends who were part of the Jehovah's Witness church.
Dixon, 40, who has taken the stand in his own defence, told the High Court in Auckland that as a child his mother would padlock him to a fence and he would be routinely locked up, raped and molested.
"I understood from a young age that that was my role in life. To be ridiculed or persecuted," he said.
Dixon, 40, is on trial on charges including murdering James Te Aute who was shot dead in Auckland in 2003 and causing Renee Gunbie and Simonne Butler grievous bodily harm with a samurai sword at Pipiroa, near Thames.
He was found guilty of the charges in 2005 but the Court of Appeal later ordered a second trial, suppressing its reasons for quashing his convictions.
Media were prohibited from filming Dixon today as he gave the evidence and members of the jury strained to hear him speak.
Dixon said as he became older and stronger, more people were used to hold him down and rape him.
His mother, who he described as a schizophrenic, was among those who abused him, he said.
Dixon said his mother padlocked him to a fence where he developed an ability to speak telepathically with dogs, which was why he always got on with dogs.
Dixon said he thought he had grown up well as he had not molested any children despite the sexual abuse he suffered.
"The sexual abuse wasn't too bad, there were about 20 people doing it on regular occasions, but there was violence," he said.
Dixon said he heard "the voice of god" and said he thought of himself as "the chosen one".
"It was a normal thing in Jehovah's Witness when you hear things."
As a child Dixon thought people were watching and following him.
"I thought the police were out to kill me and the Government had killed parts of my family."
Dixon said he thought his reward would be in the next world.
His mother had taught him to be suspicious of other people and Dixon said he thought the world was a judgmental place.
Dixon said he had inherited his "demons" from his father and his mother had told him that was where his problems came from.
At the age of about 10 Dixon went into an institution.
"It was better than home."
Dixon said he had "struggled a bit with my sexuality" at about the age of 15 because of the abuse he had suffered.
Dixon described how he received messages from music or programmes which mentioned the "New World Order".
Once he heard the messages they became a sign which led him to believe people were tracking him and trying to kill him, he said.
When defence lawyer Barry Hart asked if he seriously believed people were following him, Dixon replied: "Yes", there was a conspiracy against him which continued to this day.
Planes - including a Boeing 747 - were used to follow him, his car and house were bugged and tracking devices had been put into his skin he said.
"They're out to get me."
Dixon said the police operation against him was part of the New World Order conspiracy because police thought he was involved in terrorist activities.
The case continues.