Deborah Hill Cone: Get over this hang-up with body-part names

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'We're going to talk about bits, I am sorry."

That is how National Radio's Kathryn Ryan introduced a segment on her Nine to Noon show last week talking about a topic related to women's genitalia.

Now, I'm one of Ryan's most devoted fans, but I was rather disappointed when she said that.

The science segment that followed was a serious and interesting piece about a new development in tissue engineering. Scientists have had a breakthrough in growing different types of body tissue including nose tissue - "the gentle start to the segment," according to Ryan - and vaginal tissue, which was apparently more problematic.

Scientist Siouxsie Wiles was not prudish and seemed relaxed to use the anatomically correct words. It was an important topic: I never knew one in 5000 women - that's a lot - are born with a condition where their vagina is not fully formed.

But I still felt dismayed that a leading broadcaster - whom I admire very much and normally tackles all manner of difficult topics with aplomb - in this case seemed to feel so uncomfortable.

And not just with saying the V word but maybe also the other parts of women's genitals that normally must not be mentioned - the vulva, the labia and the clitoris.

Since Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues, it has become more acceptable to talk about vaginas, but other "bits" are still the Voldemorts of our bottoms. (Incidentally, if you're still reading this, then it means the editors at the Herald are pretty darn enlightened these days - thanks editors!).

The reason I'm bothered about our problem with talking about "down there" is not just that I like to talk dirty - although I am getting better at it - but because I grew up with a freight of shame about my body and I don't want my children to do the same.

But how do we bring up daughters who feel okay about their bodies if we can't even bear to say the words? Do we feel equally squeamish about talking about penises or testicles? I'm not sure.

Either way, it seems important to have the right words. My friend who had ovarian cancer says ovarian and other gynae and bottom-located cancer never gets the press that breast cancer does and she believes that is because talking about breasts is seen as liberating, natural or titillating, whereas talking about vaginas, vulvas and rectums is still off limits.

You might not care about that, until you're the one that gets Unmentionable Bottom Cancer. Feminist writer Harriet Lerner concurs that we can say vagina as comfortably - or uncomfortably - as we can say penis.

But vulva is still an unspeakable word. Lerner theorises that's because it is the primary source of female sexual pleasure, the girl's first site of masturbation and sexual self-discovery, separate from intercourse or reproduction.

The dread and denial of female sexuality is extremely well documented. Lerner's research says parents are okay with the word vagina because they see it as "her sex organ, related to intercourse and reproduction - all she needs to know about".

Lerner has been raising "vulva consciousness" - and battling obscuring, obfuscating language - since the late 1960s, advocating the accurate labelling of the vulva, which includes the labia and the clitoris. "My publications have been met with a dignified fraternal silence and my colleagues (along with the rest of the world) continue to say vagina when they mean vulva."

Maybe things are changing. When I complained about Kathryn Ryan's awkwardness with the "V word" on Facebook a friend replied "I was part of a lively discussion last night concerning the vaginal fart, or vart, or queef. There was no squeamishness among the mixed table, all in mid-late 40s."

Anyway, I hope next time Kathryn Ryan will not only be able to say vagina, but maybe even add the other V-word to her vocabulary. She would be a shame-buster, which gives more power to women - also a gift to men. No more "bits".