Death won't part them

Alicia and Daniel Gibbs at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' New Zealand Temple near Hamilton. Picture / Amos Chapple

Only 20 years into her life on this Earth, Waikato University student Alicia Gibbs has committed herself to her husband, Daniel, not just "till death do us part", but for eternity.

The couple have entered what the Mormon Church calls "temple marriage", deliberately refusing to allow themselves the option of divorce under the laws of the secular state.

"It's an eternal vow, it's for all time, eternity," says Mr Gibbs, 22, a Hamilton sales representative.

"Our view of life is more of an eternal nature, it carries on the relationship between the husband and wife and the rest of the family."

The church provides counselling to make sure couples know what they are letting themselves in for, and two months after their wedding, the Gibbses are still attending marriage classes on Sundays.

"Last week we talked about finances and how that can affect the relationship, and that ran into children," Mr Gibbs said.

"I think it's a fairly solid foundation for marriage.

"If it meant that other people went into marriage with a realistic view of the serious nature of the commitment, it would be a huge benefit in society."

Around New Zealand, a handful of couples are quietly rebelling against the "weak" version of marriage that has become the legal norm since 1980, when divorce became freely available after two years of separation with no need to prove fault on either side.

After a few difficult years, Cambridge kiwifruit farmer Andrew Davies, 57, and his wife, Verity, made an agreement to stick to their marriage vows.

"It was not till about 10 years into our marriage when, at her initiative, we both agreed to never consider divorce again," he says.

"That seemed like not a major thing to do, but I tell you, the significance was marked very quickly. When you have a problem, you sort it out instead of threatening to leave.

"That is one of the worst manipulations in a relationship, the threat to walk out; you use that as a weapon. Once you remove that option, you have to sort out your problems, and all of a sudden you are not having so many problems.

Mr Davies is part of a small group that is trying to interest New Zealand churches in providing a similar form of marriage where couples would commit "to be faithful to each other, care for their children whether together or apart, and counselling, pre-marital and when trouble comes".