KEY POINTS:
Almost 60 years after her death and 750km from home, a woman who was killed by her husband will be remembered in Auckland tonight.
Eileen Rose Foley was 34 and six months pregnant with her fourth child when she was kicked to death by her husband, Christchurch policeman
Owen Foley, in July 1950.
The couple's two daughters, Mary-Anne Lister and Christina Pusztay, who witnessed their mother's death, will attend the twilight memorial service at the Tahaki Reserve on the northern slopes of Mt Eden on the eve of International Women's Day.
Their brother John Foley, who was just 18 months at the time, was placed in an orphanage and the family have lost contact with him. He is believed to be still living in Christchurch.
Ms Pusztay, now 60, said her father was jailed for three years for manslaughter, but a newspaper report said there were no witnesses to his crime.
"It said he was terribly remorseful. When you read it now, it was like, 'this poor man'," she said.
The memorial service will also remember all women and children who have been killed or harmed by domestic violence.
"It's just good to speak out about it to stop any more senseless killings," Ms Pusztay said.
Eileen Foley was one of 10 siblings in a Catholic family who migrated from Ireland to Wellington when Eileen was 17. Her first child, Mary-Anne, was born soon after the end of World War II and was 4 1/2 in July 1950. Christina and John followed at 18-month intervals.
"Looking back, there was domestic violence going on in the family, but it was never spoken about and she never spoke about it," Ms Pusztay said.
"I can see now that was why she was wanting to spend long periods of time with her mother in Wellington till someone said, 'You'd better go back to your husband'. That was probably a cry for help."
On the morning of July 28, while Mrs Foley was preparing breakfast, she had asked her husband to help her out more around the house. But he wanted to go to the beach.
He accused her of ripping one of his shirts and punched her, knocking her to the ground.
"He continued kicking her. I think what finally killed her was when he kicked her in the temple."
The children felt helpless and Ms Pusztay said she didn't understand what had happened, even after her father dragged her mother's body to their bedroom and laid her on their bed, and then called the police himself.
When the police came, a neighbour took the children and the two girls were sent to their grandmother in Wellington. They were sent to boarding school in Masterton from the age of 5. The grandmother died when Ms Pusztay was 14.
"At boarding school I fantasised that my mother was a famous actress and travelled the world," she said. "I was found out when I was about 8. Some girl came back after the holidays and said, 'You're a liar and your father's a murderer, he killed your mother'."
She remembers only one visit from her father, who brought his new wife to meet his daughters at the school.
"I did see him after he left Christchurch years later and came to live in Auckland, but he would never speak about what he had done," she said.
"I tried to raise it with him, but he wouldn't even talk about it. We were not close at all."
Ms Pusztay now manages the Supportline Women's Refuge, which specialises in taking in mothers and children, with a children's playroom and courses for their mums on parenting, cooking and "breaking the cycle".
She feels honoured that her mother will finally be remembered.
"It's making people aware of domestic violence," she said. "It's more spoken about now, which is great, and there are lots of agencies that people can go to for support."
* Memorial service for Eileen Rose Foley and other victims of domestic violence, Tahaki Reserve, Mt Eden Rd, tonight 6.30 to 8.30. Helpline 0800 456 450, www.areyouok.org.nz
