"When you put your arms around me, I get a fever that's so hard to bear."
Another grumble in the dark makes the Marquee Theatre lurch back and forth and up and down, but still she sings on.
It's the final night of my first cruise and we've hit rough seas.
A big swell is rocking the theatre on deck seven, but I'm comfortable and relaxed, french martini in hand.
The singer stays in tune and on beat for the whole show.
A stroll outside gives us a glimpse of the mountainous waves that are trying their best to throw off our entertainer.
As I board P&O's Pacific Jewel in Sydney on a four-day P&O Sea Break, I'm prepared for days in the doldrums of boredom cramped in poky cabins and one fleeting chance to leave the ship at Moreton Island, off Brisbane. And I fear everything will be astronomically overpriced.
I go anyway to make sure I'm right. But I'm completely wrong.
My novels and magazines stay in my bag, the cabin TV remains switched off.
Under our door each morning slides news from the mainland and a schedule of the day's activities on the ship, which has just undergone a multi-million dollar refit.
There are Q&A sessions with various experts, competitions, art and memorabilia auctions, circuses, film showings, comedy shows, musicals and more.
Children are banned from the adults-only Oasis Deck on the Pacific Jewel. Photo / Supplied
Our one stop at picturesque Moreton Island, a sand island which is nearly all national park, offered up live music, entertainers, dancers and food stalls. Available activities on shore included dolphin feeding, snorkelling and diving around the Tangalooma Wrecks, parasailing, adventure safaris, sand tobogganing and quad-biking, but many opted just to hang out on the beach in the sunshine.
Back on the ship, I can go to the gym, the pool, the beauty salon, the massage parlour, the hairdresser and the casino.
Children are not seen or heard, because there are areas especially for teenagers and a kid's club.
The Oasis at the stern is an adults-only sanctuary with elegant beds and wicker loungers where you can relax until the sun goes down.
But if you really want to kick back you can head up to the Thermal Suite and unwind in one of three different saunas or go into a deeper state of consciousness in the meditation room.
A lie-down under a blanket with a cuppa or glass of Champagne overlooking the ocean seems appropriate just to complete the fix of relaxation.
But you can't chill out on an empty stomach, so there are several speciality restaurants and bars around the ship.
The newest is Pantry, an international food market featuring eight bespoke outlets including Mexican, Indian and Asian cuisine alongside favourites such as fish 'n' chips, a carvery and a dessert bar.
Our spacious cabin has a porthole looking out at the rolling Tasman with a walk-in wardrobe and en suite.
And every time we step out, it's made up by our steward who always greets us cheerily.
Moreton Island passengers can go parasailing. Photo / Supplied
On our last night, an elevator whisks us up to the white-cloth tables of celebrity chef Luke Mangan's Salt grill.
Warm house-baked bread with oils and dukkha, creamy pan-fried gnocchi, bitter greens, seared scallops, grilled grain-fed beef, truffle mash, blue cheese polenta, and spice-rubbed lobster tails cover our table.
The reds and white wines flow.
For dessert there are rich chocolate tasting plates, liquorice parfaits with lime syrup and a floating island of vanilla creme on fresh fruit and frangelico anglaise.
A little tawny port is sipped afterwards.
Another martini downstairs at the Mix Bar, sipped to the riffs of Pink Floyd and a laser show are the perfect way to digest the evening.
I remember the words of the Pacific Jewel's First Officer Brian Whelan.
"You can fly much quicker to most places, but you don't travel in the same comfort and style.
"Sometimes it's about the journey as much as the destination."
