Covid 19 coronavirus: Funeral director breaks down after telling dead man's family new rules

It is one of the last things a family can do for a loved one who has died - dress them.

But the Covid-19 lockdown has stopped many of those final acts of love from happening and one Auckland funeral director has shown just how hard it is even for the professionals.

Fatafehi Tamale, of Tipene Funerals in Onehunga, was captured on video breaking down in tears after having to tell the daughter of an elderly man in their care that she could not dress him because of the current situation.

Tamale is seen speaking to the woman, dressed in black, who has just given her the clothing she has prepared for her late father - a white suit complete with a blazer and a large tapa cloth for his casket.

The woman is heard thanking Tamale before she walks away.

• Covid19.govt.nz: The Government's official Covid-19 advisory website (edited)

As Tamale walks backs into the office, funeral home owner Kaiora Tipene asks her what that experience was like.

"Very heartbreaking," Tamale says, with a hand to her chest.

"I'm Tongan. It's because it's not normal for us - okay, no. I'm gonna cry."

Funeral director Fatafehi Tamale, of Tipene Funerals, cries after having to tell the daughter of a man she is unable to dress him because of the Covid 19 lockdown rules. Image / Kaiora Tipene

Choking up, she explains what she told the man's daughter she would do for her.

"I've got the clothes. I promised her that I will make sure that I place this [tapa cloth] - which is what we wear - in the casket.

"Or for him to wear. I promised that I would take photos of it and send it to them just to put their minds at ease . . . so they know that we put everything that they wanted on their father.

"And give him a send-off - a good send-off."

ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS'

Speaking to the Herald, Tamale said it was a tough time to be working in the industry and particularly when many of their customers were Pasifika and Māori families who had traditions and cultural protocols for when a person died.

Under the lockdown rules, no funerals, memorial services or any such gatherings are allowed. Only one person can go to the funeral home to make arrangements, before everything else is left with the funeral director.

All deceased are to be buried or cremated as soon as possible and no one can be present when that happens.

Only cemetery staff can be at the burial, as all public cemeteries are now closed until further notice.

"That was one of the hardest things that I've had to do. It's one thing to tell them over the phone [of the new rules] but then having to see them in person. . .

"When I spoke to the daughter - that she couldn't see her dad, she couldn't be there to dress him and to say her goodbyes - I just managed to hold myself together."

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Kaiora Tipene, pictured with husband Francis Tipene, own Tipene Funerals. The funeral home is the subject of the popular television and Netflix series The Casketeers. Photo / Michael Craig

Tipene Funerals owner Kaiora Tipene captured the poignant moment on video and said it was significant, as it was the first time they had had to tell a family of the new lockdown rules.

Tipene said although the rules were necessary, carrying them out in person had proven to be challenging.

"Covid-19 has really removed us from our social norms. Our customs have to be put aside."

She said the funeral home had since taken steps to make use of apps and technology - Skype and Zoom, for example - that would help families stay connected and see their loved ones before they were taken to be buried or cremated.

She also encouraged people to talk to each other about plans if there was a sudden death in the family during this time.

"Be prepared for your loved ones. It's not your everyday conversation; but in times like this, it's a must."