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Home / New Zealand

Covid 19 coronavirus: Family of dead man waited for weeks in the hopes of holding a proper funeral

Vaimoana Tapaleao
By Vaimoana Tapaleao
Pasifika Editor·NZ Herald·
13 May, 2020 03:00 AM4 mins to read

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Winston Peters and Jacinda Ardern address attending funerals in Level 2. VIDEO / Mark Mitchell

Eight weeks.

That is how long one family has been waiting and hoping for lockdown restrictions to be eased; so they can give their father and loved one the farewell he deserves.

Dave Pīhama died of heart failure just as the country was going into lockdown eight weeks ago. He was 56.

His partner of more than 30 years, Ramari Amopiu, and their eldest daughter made the difficult decision for his body to be held at a funeral home in the hopes of giving him a proper tangi after the Covid-19 lockdown restrictions eased.

The family, who live in Wellington, also wanted to take him back home to Taumarunui for a funeral and burial.

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READ MORE:
• Covid 19 coronavirus: Parties clash over funerals - Jacinda Ardern is like 'Muldoon with slogans', say National Party
• Covid 19 coronavirus: Jacinda Ardern defends funeral limits
• Premium - Covid 19 coronavirus: Grieving families and funeral services 'devastated' at Level 2 restrictions
• Covid 19 coronavirus: National leader Simon Bridges - Funeral limits 'inhumane'

But when the Government announced on Monday that the same restriction in alert level 3 - allowing only 10 people at a funeral - would carry on into level 2, they were left heartbroken yet again.

"We watched that announcement live and we were gutted, angry and emotional.

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"They can have 100 people going to a bloody restaurant but not to a funeral? It's not fair. It hasn't been easy for us."

The extended whānau had been expecting restrictions to be eased by level 2 and Amopiu said it had been frustrating and emotionally draining to have to change plans yet again.

Not being able to carry out tikanga Māori and certain cultural protocols had been an uncomfortable time in level 4, she said.

They thought things would change at level 3 but even more so by level 2.

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'It's been a difficult time for us'

It has now reached the point where the family can no longer wait - out of respect for the man they love, who remains in the care of the Haven Falls Funeral Home in Wellington.

"It's been a difficult time for us. It's been frustrating," Amopiu said through tears.

"There's been conflict with our wider whānau too. But our aim is to get Dave home and to lay him to rest."

Co-owner of Haven Falls Funeral Services, Michelle Pukepuke, said the family were now well-known in the area; as they regularly come to the funeral home just to park outside and be near their dad.

One relative is often there most evenings blasting reggae music in honour of Dave.

Pukepuke said they were too were disappointed that no more than 10 people could attend funerals, as their staff were more than capable to handle the new rules.

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"They just need to trust that we can do our jobs, while still keeping people safe," Pukepuke said.

With four daughters - aged 26, 25, 18 and 15 - a son-in-law and 2-year-old granddaughter Lulu, Pīhama's whānau is also having to figure out exactly which family members will be at the funeral and who will not be.

"We sympathise with the other families with what they're going through. Keep strong. It's not easy and it's not going to get easier."

Funeral Directors Association in talks with health officials

The Funeral Directors Association NZ president, Gary Taylor, told the Herald this afternoon that they remained in close talks with Ministry of Health officials about the push to relax rules around funerals and to allow more people to attend.

He said overseas cases Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern had cited, where clusters of Covid-19 outbreaks had occurred after people attended funerals, did not coincide with the practices now being carried out at New Zealand-based funeral homes.

Taylor, a funeral director in Northland, said it had been a difficult time for many families who had lost a loved one during lockdown - as well as for those funeral directors involved.

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"I have seen it in the eyes of these families, the absolute despair and the inability to comprehend what I'm saying to them - that you can't hold this type of gathering.

"Families have had enough and they need to do more for these families."

• Covid19.govt.nz: The Government's official Covid-19 advisory website

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