National Party deputy leader Gerry Brownlee. Photo / Mark Mitchell
National Party deputy leader Gerry Brownlee. Photo / Mark Mitchell
COMMENT:
The penultimate week of Parliament has ended with a rather romantic proposal and something of a cliffhanger ending.
The delayed election date has resulted in something of a super-over for MPs, or at least for the skeleton crew who now return for two days a week for a fewhours a day.
Next week will be the last, all going well but the super over has delivered some delights.
On Wednesday, the delights came from an exchange between National's deputy leader Gerry Brownlee and Minister Megan Woods about the testing of sewage in Auckland near the Jet Park Hotel, where people with Covid-19 are quarantined.
Woods explained exactly where the testing was being taken on the southern interceptor (the important name for a big waste-water pipe) and when Covid-19 first showed up in samples (June 16).
She explained it was expected because the Jet Park was a quarantine facility, but it was important not to read too much into it as yet.
Brownlee queried whether it was possible the positive samples had come from somewhere other than the Jet Park and Woods suggested if he was looking for conspiracies he look elsewhere than sewage.
She then issued a romantic proposal for him to look at the sewerage in person: she was more than willing to offer Brownlee a visit to the great southern interceptor itself.
Brownlee observed that this was very decent of her, and he would be happy to take her up on her "generous offer".
Speaker Trevor Mallard recalled a previous romantic proposal issued to Brownlee which Brownlee had not been so keen to take up.
That was an invitation in 2009 from Labour MP David Parker to take Brownlee on a tramp over the summer holidays to show off the conservation estate.
Brownlee had not paused before declining this invitation, observing he had seen the movie Brokeback Mountain.
Clearly a visit to see potentially Covid-infused sewage with Megan Woods was a far more appealing option than the great outdoors with David Parker.
Brownlee was so enthusiastic about it he even double-checked it would go ahead, asking later when this date might happen.
Woods replied that a briefing with ESR could be arranged quickly, and a suitable time to visit the southern interceptor would be found once lockdown ended.
"I look forward to accompanying the member," she said as if she could think of little better way to spend her time.
Brownlee, however, was still confused about the venue.
Woods had been talking about the southern interceptor, but Brownlee had looked at Watercare's maps and it did not seem the Jet Park was on the southern interceptor at all.
Woods clarified by making things more confusing: the Jet Park, and a range of managed isolation hotels, were on the south western interceptor.
Minister Megan Woods. Photo / Mark Mitchell
Brownlee digested this news while other questions were dealt with, and then raised it again at the end of Question Time.
Why had ministers talked about the southern interceptor in the past, but Woods was now talking about the south western interceptor? Did the minister have her pipes crossed?
Woods promised to send him a letter with the details that afternoon.
A cliff-hanger ending!
In the meantime, the NZ Herald made its own inquiries to unpick the mystery of the pipes.
The answer was complicated and quite boring and something to do with the names Watercare gives its pipes, and ESR's names for the catchment areas those pipes come from.
All we needed to know (actually we don't even need to know this really) was that ESR takes samples from the point the three main pipes (the south western, eastern, and western interceptors) enter the wastewater treatment plant.
The letter to Brownlee was duly sent the next morning and was reportedly a formal invitation for a briefing with ESR who are conducting the testing.
The timing of the date with Woods to see the sewage is still pending.
