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Home / New Zealand

Claire Trevett: Boris Johnson and the condiments of humour

By Comment by Claire Trevett
NZ Herald·
26 Jul, 2017 05:00 PM4 mins to read

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British Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson recruits for his Campaign of Slaughter. PHOTO/Marty Melville - AFP/pool.

British Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson recruits for his Campaign of Slaughter. PHOTO/Marty Melville - AFP/pool.

Opinion

The brief visit of British Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson provided a much needed reminder of the importance of a bit of humour in politics.

He came, threw big words around like "punctilious" and "marmoreal", cracked jokes, sprinkled a few important things in between them and then left again. The visit was worth it for the entertainment alone.

Johnson is something of a Peter Pan. Despite his years in politics (and journalism), watching him trip around Zealandia was like watching a very smart 8-year-old boy.

He genuinely marvelled at the 200 million year lineage of the tuatara, questioned the work ethic of the kiwi ("do you think they could fly if they, you know, tried really hard?"), compared the tuatara's evolution to a lesson in nuclear disarmament (we are still wondering), and started talking about reptilian shapeshifters and overlords while holding a tuatara.

In rather bloodthirsty fashion, he re-cast Conservation Minister Maggie Barry's Predator Free 2050 project as the "Campaign of Slaughter" - a moniker that raised visions of a vermin version of Game of Thrones.

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Barry did not seem too upset by this re-casting - she herself has something of a reputation for a military approach to her job. She has been known to boast of being "Cabinet's biggest killer" and has launched the Battle for the Birds and War on Weeds.

His enthusiasm turned what could have been a humdrum, cursory public relations outing into a genuinely interesting experience.

Politicians gearing up for the election should have watched and learned. Half of the job of selling politics is to get people to listen. People do not listen if they are bored and nobody was bored when Johnson was talking - even when he was talking about yawn-inducing matters such as "people to people dialogues".

Humour and charm are also a fast-track to redemption. People will forgive all manner of sins if somebody can entertain them while trying to avoid perdition.

There are a few local practitioners. NZ First candidate Shane Jones battled through the morass after he was caught out watching porn on ministerial trips using much the same combination of humour and repentance as Johnson has been known to show.

Discover more

Opinion

Trevett: Will Ardern eat the Greens?

02 Aug 07:03 PM

NZ First leader Winston Peters is another. His list of political transgressions stretches back decades but his grin acts as the Obliviate Spell from Harry Potter.

By the time it comes to vote again, the voters have forgotten.

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Former Prime Minister John Key was another who used humour as a political tool to great effect.

He was not as cutting edge (or anywhere near as clever) as Johnson but he knew how to use a few well-made quips to downplay an issue - often at his own expense.

The day after Johnson left, New Zealand politics returned to the humdrum activities of the pre-campaign phase. There was continued bickering between candidates over billboard placements and wording as if it mattered to anybody other than themselves.

There was the ongoing saga of Green Party co-leader Metiria Turei's confession of benefit rorting - an issue that has turned her into as polarising a figure as Ned Kelly in Australian legend, a Robin Hood to some but a low-down thief to others.

Labour leader Andrew Little went to some efforts to avoid taking a position on Turei at all, simply pronouncing that all sorts of MPs engaged in all sorts of activities.

In between, he was trying to re-focus his attentions on swinging voters after getting sidetracked by swinging dicks in a slang competition with Peters.

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Peters also refused to comment on Turei, but did put up a preliminary show of form after Prime Minister Bill English pronounced he was again throwing himself at the mercy of the voters of Epsom and Ohariu to try to save himself having to work with Peters.

That was an official statement that he would urge National supporters in Epsom and Ohariu to vote for Act leader David Seymour and United Future leader Peter Dunne respectively. Peters' response was to say he didn't give a "rat's derriere."

As for Johnson, he paddled off to Australia with an offer from Barry to export the Campaign of Slaughter to exterminate the grey squirrel from London so the red squirrel could thrive once more - a project he could no doubt call the Red Squirrel Wedding.

Then again, Johnson could have simply been collecting tips for British Prime Minister Theresa May's return to the UK in three weeks' time after her walking holiday in Italy.

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