Former United States President Barack Obama's visit is not quite Weekend at Bernies' territory but Obama may as well be a mannequin, such are the restrictions on what he will and will not say.
In summary, Obama will not say anything at all or at least not to anyone who has not made the cut as an invited guest to his speaking event tonight or a meeting with 20 Maori women leaders tomorrow.
Even for those guests (there are about 1000) the rules appear to be similar to those for a private conversation with the Queen – you must not repeat it or off with your head.
The reason for this is delicately phrased "political sensitivities". Obama is a mere Private Citizen.
Former US Presidents are not supposed to overshadow current US Presidents, which at the moment is Donald Trump lest anyone had forgotten.
Alas for Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, it seems the same rule does not apply to former Prime Ministers of New Zealand.
Dairy giant Fonterra might consider taking on former Prime Minister Sir John Key as its new chief executive given his proficiency in milking Obama's visit for all it is worth.
The former Prime Minister, who is now also a mere Private Citizen, is the one getting hours and hours of facetime with Obama while the current Prime Minister gets a paltry 30 minutes and has to pretend she doesn't care that the former PM is getting all the attention and photo ops.
The reason she has to pretend is the very same "political sensitivities" excuse which prevents Obama speaking publicly.
Ardern may well have marched in the streets the day Trump was inaugurated but she was not Prime Minister then. She cannot cosy up to Obama now.
So it is Key in the media day after day reminiscing about the olden times and golf games with his old matey potatey "I call him Barack."
It was Key pictured arm in arm with Obama on the links at Kauri Cliffs.
Key's shamelessness when it came to hobnobbing with big names as Prime Minister used to enrage Labour when it was Opposition – but it probably hadn't expected that to continue once they were in Government.
Key had tried to get Obama here for eight long years while he was Prime Minister. He belatedly achieved it and was not going to let anything as mundane as domestic "political sensitivities" ruin the moment for him.
It is shameless but it is probably just as well Key has stepped into that breach given nobody else seemed to want to do it thanks to Political Sensitivities.
Key can defend the extent of his involvement by pointing out a visit by such a high-profile person is good for New Zealand and somebody had to highlight it. It will, he insists, be good for golfing tourism.
Key appears to be relying on Obama tweeting to push up tourist numbers.
He will be hoping for more on that front than Singapore got when Obama was there on Monday and Tuesday – which was one paltry tweet about an Obama Foundation meeting he held with some young leaders.
But Key is not the only man in town who is capable of milking things for attention.
Despite best efforts to ensure Obama's visit was a politics-free zone, while the two Private Citizens were sauntering around golf courses, the Obama event tonight had become a political football down in Wellington.
NZ First MP and Regional Development Minister Shane Jones was continuing his offensive on Air NZ for cutting regional services heedless to Prime Ministerial tellings-off and accusations of bullying.
There were the usual Jones flourishes such as the announcement, "It might ruffle a few governance feathers, but I'm not here to stroke the peacock."
By yesterday, Jones had well and truly plucked that peacock and was calling for the airline's board to be sacked.
Air NZ is of course a sponsor for Obama's visit and one of those board members is a certain Sir John Key.
Jones is due to attend the Obama event tonight – and National's Simon Bridges wasted no time in pointing out Jones was more than happy to accept "corporate hospitality" from the same people he was demanding be sacked.
Jones was not backing down. He staged his own We are the 99 Per Cent-esque stand.
He said he was the proxy of the 52 Per Cent - the share of Air NZ owned by the Government - and he would be there.
His peacock was not cooked yet.