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Home / New Zealand

Civil unions in New Zealand turn 15; same-sex couples reflect on struggle for equality

Tom Dillane
By Tom Dillane
Reporter/Deputy Head of News·NZ Herald·
25 Apr, 2020 05:00 PM6 mins to read

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New Zealand's first civil union couple John Joliff, left, and Des Smith, pictured this week with their original certificate with the notice number "1CU". Photo / Mark Mitchell

New Zealand's first civil union couple John Joliff, left, and Des Smith, pictured this week with their original certificate with the notice number "1CU". Photo / Mark Mitchell

Even the ageing "poster boys" of the Civil Union Act of 2005 need some prompting to recollect the tension of that time.

Dusting off a scrapbook of newspaper articles in their Wellington home, John Joliff, 90, and Des Smith, 80, reflect on the protests and debate that littered their path to become the first Kiwi couple to enter a civil union on May 1, 2005.

READ MORE:
• Civil Unions Bill passed
• First couples sign up for civil unions

The pair spearheaded the campaign to give same-sex couples the first legal recognition of their relationships in New Zealand - which was put into law 15 years ago today.

"Seems a while since we got involved in that rollercoaster," Joliff says.

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"Actually we started off being really strong for marriage per se, and thinking civil union isn't quite there. But it became a matter of strategy - what is really practical?

"You had [Brian] Tamaki and his team marching through Wellington shouting 'enough is enough' with 8-year-old kids waving their hands in Hitler-like fashion."

The couple of 32 years established CUBSS, the Civil Union Bill Support Society, in 2004 to generate political and community support for the parliamentary bill that split the house at the time.

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Yet for Joliff, Smith, and the country as a whole it seems, the relevance of civil unions and ideological angst that accompanied it has dimmed over the past decade.

In 2019, a mere 67 people across New Zealand entered into a civil union. So far in 2020 the number has been 25.

The annual number of civil unions is relatively consistent since 2014, the year after same-sex marriage was legalised via the Marriage Amendment Act 2013.

In comparison, between 2005 and 2013 there were on average 357 civil unions - peaking in 2006 with 429.

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The Department of Internal Affairs certificate of New Zealand's first civil union couple, Des Smith and John Joliff, with Notice No. 1NC. Photo / Mark Mitchell
The Department of Internal Affairs certificate of New Zealand's first civil union couple, Des Smith and John Joliff, with Notice No. 1NC. Photo / Mark Mitchell

But Joliff maintains there was "no doubt" civil unions were a necessary step for same-sex marriage to pass into New Zealand law in 2013.

"It was a tactical step. It was the only step forward that we felt we could take at that time," Joliff said.

"Not just for us but for other people it indicated there is a validity to same-sex relationships that can be legally recognised.

"We were certainly second-class citizens, we didn't have the option of marriage.

"And when we got round to the [same-sex] marriage bill there was relatively little opposition at all."

This assertion is supported by the parliamentary vote counts of both bills.

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John Joliff and Des Smith on Wellington's waterfront on May 1, 2005, after their civil ceremony. Photo / Supplied
John Joliff and Des Smith on Wellington's waterfront on May 1, 2005, after their civil ceremony. Photo / Supplied

The Civil Union Act 2005 was passed, 65 votes for to 55 against, whereas the Marriage Amendment Act 2013 was passed 77 votes for to 44 against.

Only three out of 27 National MPs, and one of 13 NZ First MPs, in Parliament at the time supported the Civil Union Act 2005.

Despite the reduced number of civil unions signed off on by the Department of Internal Affairs today, there is still a consistent number of 60 to 70 people each year who still prefer them to marriage.

Registrar-general of Births, Deaths and Marriages Jeff Montgomery says there is no legal difference between a civil union and a marriage.

New Zealand's first civil union couple, Des Smith, left, and John Joliff, celebrating on the day they got their certificate in Wellington, 2005. Photo / Supplied
New Zealand's first civil union couple, Des Smith, left, and John Joliff, celebrating on the day they got their certificate in Wellington, 2005. Photo / Supplied

"The reason people are choosing to do it [civil unions] that I'm hearing, anecdotally, is the view that marriage is an old institution they choose not to be part of but still want their relationship to be legally acknowledged," Montgomery said.

"Often those are mixed-sex couples. So civil unions have never been something simply for same-sex couples."

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Montgomery said some New Zealanders who chose civil unions did so out of the perceived association of marriage with organised religion.

However, he added that 50 per cent of marriages in New Zealand were actually conducted by independent, non-religious celebrants.

Items from the scrapbook of New Zealand's first civil union couple, Des Smith and John Joliff. Photo / Mark Mitchell
Items from the scrapbook of New Zealand's first civil union couple, Des Smith and John Joliff. Photo / Mark Mitchell

Another 25 per cent are administered as registry weddings done by the state.

Only 25 per cent are conducted by organisational celebrants in churches, or other faith-based organisations.

"So 75 per cent of weddings in New Zealand are conducted outside the church or the religious structures," Montgomery said.

"So the concept that a marriage is a traditional religious thing is perhaps itself a little outdated."

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Montgomery also has a personal stance on the issue - having entered into a civil union with his partner in 2009.

"We just didn't see a need [to marry]. So a civil union has a particular place in history. It was something that New Zealand chose to do," the 53-year-old says.

"We chose to take out a civil union at that time, and we think it's a historical gift in a way and we didn't particularly feel the need to convert it into a marriage. So we've got something special and we're quite happy with that.

"I refer [to my partner] as my husband and always have for 11 years. So that's not changed."

Labour MP Tamati Coffey and his partner Tim Smith at the 20th anniversary Big Gay Out at Coyle Park in Pt Chevalier, Auckland in February last year. Photo / Peter Meecham
Labour MP Tamati Coffey and his partner Tim Smith at the 20th anniversary Big Gay Out at Coyle Park in Pt Chevalier, Auckland in February last year. Photo / Peter Meecham

Labour MP Tamati Coffey has also remained in the civil union he entered into with his partner Tim Smith in 2011.

"No, haven't managed to get around to it [marriage]," Coffey said.

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"We set ourselves a little goal that when we've got our family complete, when we've got our kids that we want, then we'll go in for the marriage when our kids are old enough to be part of the moment as well.

"We felt as though we had the civil union and that'll keep until our son's old enough and be able to remember being part of a marriage ceremony."

Waiariki MP Tamati Coffey and husband Tim Smith show off their baby Tutanekai to Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern in Rotorua in August last year. Photo / Sam Olley
Waiariki MP Tamati Coffey and husband Tim Smith show off their baby Tutanekai to Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern in Rotorua in August last year. Photo / Sam Olley

But the 40-year-old's plans for marriage do not diminish the significance of the Civil Union Act 2005 in his eyes.

"Yeah it was significant because we didn't have anything up until that point," Coffey said.

"Marriage was something that my parents could do, that my sisters could do, but I couldn't do.

"It was always really weird that because the law normalises everything we do, it said that I wasn't normal.

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"That sent a really strong message to anyone in the LGBTI community, that actually you're not normal.

"I've said it to those members of parliament who were pushing it through at the time that I saw it as momentous."

John Joliff, left, and Des Smith at their home in Wellington this week. Photo / Mark Mitchell
John Joliff, left, and Des Smith at their home in Wellington this week. Photo / Mark Mitchell

While Joliff and Smith did exchange their civil union for marriage on May 1, 2015, the legal security their civil union brought them at the time was a huge relief.

"It was important for me because I have an older brother who's very homophobic and there was a contest over my mother's will, and I know if something had happened to me, he would have been in like a shot claiming," Smith said.
"We just wanted that recognition of our partnership legally because that gave extra clout to any dispute.

"It was quite a journey, because we weren't young, but we were featured in the paper as the poster boys and that amused us.

"To me, it gave us an extra protection for our relationship."

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