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Home / New Zealand

Brash butt of Government jokes

5 Nov, 2003 05:01 AM3 mins to read

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New National leader Don Brash showed his political inexperience today, breaking a basic rule of parliamentary etiquette by interjecting while walking around the debating chamber.

Dr Brash's faux pas came as he was attacked by Social Services Minister Steve Maharey in the general debate.

It followed his own speech - one that
had started well but went backwards faster than a Melbourne Cup tailender.

"I'm conscious of the comments made in recent days in a number of media outlets about my lack of political experience and about the bleak prospects of my forging a career as a stand-up comedian," Dr Brash, an MP for 15 months, opened.

"May I briefly say to these critics that while I'm always trying to achieve professionalism and competence in this chamber, I did not embark upon this career with any aspiration of becoming some sort of antipodean Billy Connelly."

Sadly for him, he swiftly lived up to that billing, proceeding to give a monologue in a monotone, mercifully broken only by witty Government interjections.

"Moga-Don", came one, comparing Dr Brash to a well-known sedative.

Undeterred, Dr Brash pressed on, outlining his party's five key goals. The message was lost, however, with the interjections being more interesting.

Mr Maharey waded in with glee, quoting one columnist's description of Dr Brash: "an inoffensive, if elderly, man lacking either constituency or charisma".

"Over the last little while, watching the National Party has been like watching one of those awful television reality shows. In this case, I think the title would be 'when Tories go bad'," Mr Maharey said.

"The change of leadership from the hapless Bill English to the equally hapless Dr Don Brash took the outer limits of haplessness up to stratospheric conditions."

Dr Brash listened for a few minutes but had soon had enough and got up to leave.

He was unable to resist rising to the bait as he left , pointing at Mr Maharey and interjecting while on his feet - a strict no-no in Parliament.

Seeming to realise his mistake, he turned to take another exit but, when Speaker Jonathan Hunt called order over his interjection, he took on the look of a possum caught in the headlights - albeit a possum with a waggling finger.

"The member knows he must not interject while he is on his feet, moving up and down the corridor," Mr Hunt said, prompting even more hilarity at Dr Brash's expense.

In what was probably a wise move, Dr Brash didn't stick around to hear the next speaker, New Zealand First leader Winston Peters.

"I want to begin by expressing my deep sympathy for the National Party," Mr Peters said.

"All those people who down the years since 1936 have once worked for this great party will be in tears today and I think that within six months there'll be signs around all the rugby paddocks saying 'bring back Bill'."

Government MPs loved his initial comments but their laughter soon dried up when Mr Peters turned his attention to Prime Minister Helen Clark and her clandestine trip to Iraq and Afghanistan last week.

"The poor people of Afghanistan have had Russians, they've had the Taliban and now the Americans," he said.

"What did they do to deserve the terror of Helen Clark paying them a visit, all dressed up like a desert-based beekeeper on a secret mission?"

- NZPA

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