Blowing the whistle on ref abuse

While kids just want to have fun on the field, some parents take games too seriously. Photo / APN

Verbal and physical aggression is unacceptable at home and work, yet it is becoming increasingly commonplace at play - on the sidelines of New Zealand footy fields and netball courts. Susan Edmunds reports.

If you ask other parents, they'll say real estate agent Peter Bennett is prone to flinging verbal abuse from the sidelines of kids' rugby games. Criticism of the referee managing a 12-year-old's match flies thick and fast as he watches the team play.

One mum says sometimes when he gets too negative, she feels she has to yell something positive to counteract it. But Bennett says that's unfair - he's only offering valuable advice on the rules, rules with which the referees are too prone to play fast and loose.

He says spectator anger is understandable. "They put a lot of time into training and coaching children and the ref undoes all that training because they don't understand the rules."

Bennett claims referee bashing is a national pastime - pointing out that the entire country was up in arms over the actions of referee Wayne Barnes during the Rugby World Cup in 2007 when he missed a forward pass that led to a French try in the quarterfinal.

And he may be right. Bennett has not physically assaulted anyone, but simply done what thousands of other sideline sportsmen do every weekend: Tell the ref where to go.

You may not like the bellicose fan on the sideline, but there's nothing illegal about shouting at the ref. The concern is that it may spill over into more serious abuse. But recent high-profile cases of attacks on sports referees have brought the issue of sports field anger and violence into the spotlight.

A police spokeswoman says statistics are not kept on the number of attacks on referees or coaches. "Players are strongly urged to play fair and play by the rules, controlling their temper and never arguing with an official," she says. "If the police receive a complaint in relation to any incident of violence, this is thoroughly investigated."

In August, five Otahuhu Rugby Club players were banned for life for assaulting a referee after an under-19s match.

Last Saturday, Falefiaoalii Faalolo, 50, allegedly ran on to the field and grabbed the throat of a referee near the end of a rugby match between two Papatoetoe under-10 rugby teams. The referee was a parent and police officer volunteering for the match. Faalolo - who said this week he was embarrassed by the incident - was charged with assault.

And on Wednesday, former Samoa football international Tama Fasavalu was in court charged with assaulting referee Len Gattsche during a game between Manukau City and Tauranga City on Anzac Day. Gattsche's jaw was broken in three places.

Gattsche told media this week that referees were letting it happen too often: "I probably shouldn't say it but I think some of the referees are allowing it to go on, abuse, things like that. They're not pulling it up as hard as they should do, which doesn't help us."

AUCKLAND RUGBY Union match official manager Smudge McNeilage insists too much attention is being paid to those incidents. It is rare to get more than one incident a year that has to be dealt with at an official level, in any code.

Part of the reason why formal action is so rare may be that official sporting bodies are surprisingly limited in what they can do about over-zealous spectators. Unions can act only against union members - coaches, organisers, referees or players. Spectators and parents acting inappropriately have to be dealt with in the same way as any other member of the public.

McNeilage says verbal abuse is something that referees have to get used to. It can be hard to deal with interjections and criticism from the sidelines, but most referees learn to brush it off after a few games.

"I can be quite self-righteous myself," McNeilage admits. "When I first started refing I would go and talk to them afterwards and invite them along to one of our law classes or show them the rule book. But in the end, you just don't hear it, you're focused on the players."

NZRU general manager of community and amateur rugby Brent Anderson says it's hard to point the finger at which grade of rugby has the most trouble. Crowds at tense local derbies can be vocal, but the higher grades have the benefit of having the spectators further removed from the field. Over-enthusiastic parents are among the worst, he says, because at kids' games the parents are there on the sidelines, right in the referee's ear.

Don Crawford, chairman of the Auckland Rugby Referees, agrees that parents are the main culprits: "They all think their kids are little All Blacks."

If their eight-year-old son isn't looking like he'll be following in Dan Carter's footsteps, it's the ref that cops it. "Parents are living their unsuccessful rugby career through their kids. It puts pressure on the kids, too."

Certainly, there is a great deal of sensitivity in some sports about sideline abuse. Netball Auckland chief executive Dianne Lasenby objected to an umpire on her staff discussing the matter publicly, and vetoed photographs.

But Netball New Zealand operations director Kate Agnew says some of the frustration comes out of people not really understanding the rules. She says her organisation works hard to ensure spectators - as well as the coaches and players - have a good understanding of the game.

It's not a case of a lack of information. Several bodies offer schools and teams guidance on how to ask for better behaviour from their supporters.

Gary Carnachan, executive director of the New Zealand Secondary Schools Sports Council, says his organisation offers generic codes of conduct for schools to use. They cover things such as attitude, behaviour and the need for parents, coaches and students to behave in ways that do not bring the school or sport into disrepute.

The NZRU developed the Small Blacks scheme, under which junior teams get together and draw up a charter for parents, coaches and players to stick to. Anderson says this often includes who will supply the half-time oranges, but also outlines what behaviour is expected. "It's about respecting that the kids are trying hard, reminding parents not to yell at them."

WHAT KIND of example does it set for the children on the field, if Mum or Dad is on the sidelines, hurling vitriol at the volunteer referee?

University of Auckland clinical psychologist Ian Lambie says it's not a good one, and the problem of sports-field violence is getting worse.

Parents need to think about what kind of example, and pressure, they are putting on their children if they are striding up and down the sideline, hurling abuse. "Swearing at the ref is a real problem. It is not a good model for the kids."

Lambie says aggression is a natural part of competitive sport, but those who take it too far should face severe consequences. "They've probably got anger issues in other areas of their life."

Tania, a stay-at-home mother from Hamilton, saw it first-hand when she umpired netball. Several years on, the memory of being harangued by a spectator sticks with her. "After several warnings I ended up penalising the team they were supporting for unsportsman-like behaviour on the sidelines. They soon shut up."

Netball umpire Carley Eklund says in most games when she has the whistle, she'll cop verbal abuse from the sidelines. "It's usually parents who don't even know what they are talking about."

She tries not to let it get to her but says there are protocols. First, she gives the players a warning that their supporters are acting inappropriately. Then she talks to the person who is abusing her, and gives their rival team a point. If none of that works, she asks a senior umpire to help.

As for Peter Bennett, he and thousands of others parents will be back on the sidelines this weekend - and they will take a great deal of persuasion to change the way they offer "advice" to the referee. "Don't knock the spectators," Bennett says. "Everyone's got freedom of speech. We're just passionate about sport."