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The Kiwi male's "take it like a man" attitude is being consigned to the rubbish heap if the sharp increase in numbers asking counselling services for help is any indication.
For 42 years, about two-thirds of callers to Lifeline were women but the past six months has seen men make up half those seeking help for problems ranging from relationship breakdowns to depression.
And another private Auckland counselling service has seen the number of men calling its helpline double in a year.
Credit for at least part of such a shift in attitude is being given to former All Black John Kirwan, who began fronting a Government depression awareness campaign last October.
But people involved in men's health also say society's thinking is changing, allowing men to open up and ask for help.
Lifeline chief executive Bryan Wilshire said four times more men than women in the 40-60 age group were making calls.
"Women have always been much better at putting their hands up, while guys bottle it up which can make things worse in the long run," he said.
"We need to change men's health-seeking behaviour and it seems to be happening now."
Auckland-based Menstalk has taken the unusual step of launching a billboard campaign to advertise what is traditionally a low-visibility service. A spin on the Dove advertisements, the billboards feature men and focus on their personal issues. Posters will also be put up in cinema toilets to support the campaign.
Menstalk director Ric Church said men's counselling services were gaining more acceptance in the community as expectations involving men's roles changed.
"It's not long ago that men were expected to cope with emotionally and physically difficult situations and 'be a man'," he said. "They may not have the vocabulary or desire to express feelings such as fear, tenderness or grief, which makes them look or sound vulnerable and conflicts with perceived roles. But this attitude is being challenged."
Menstalk has about 60 clients - up from 30 a year ago - with many staying longer to sort through their problems. Relationships and family issues account for a third of the work..
The Association of Counsellors says such care also provides work for men. President Antony McFelin said the steady increase in men seeking help was being met by a corresponding rise in the number of male counsellors. He believed in encouraging men to analyse their feelings because they were more comfortable doing that.
What's eating men?
Relationships/Family: 32%
Anger issues: 14%
Stress: 10%
Sex issues: 10%
Self esteem: 9%
Anxiety: 7%
Addictions: 7%
Depression: 5%
Loss: 4%
Financial issues: 2%
