Beehive Diaries: a week of polls, protests and yoga pants

Political Editor, NZ Herald·NZ Herald·

2 Aug, 2019 02:27 AM5 mins to read

Acting Prime Minister Winston Peters took exception to a new poll. Photo / Mark Mitchell

Claire Trevett takes in the lighter side of the week in which the PM's trip to Tokelau prompted a war of words, Winston Peters did not like a poll, and Shane Jones delivered his verdict on the Air NZ safety ad.

MONDAY: Musical chairs for PM position

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern's visit to Tokelau meant that on Monday deputy PM Winston Peters was acting PM, but he handed over to Labour's Kelvin Davis on Tuesday while Peters too took off.

Peters still had enough time to have his say on a new 1 News Colmar Brunton Poll.

Few things bring out the conspiracy theorist in Peters like a poll that is good for National.

So it was little surprise that when the 1 News Colmar Brunton poll showed NZ First at 3.3 per cent and National at 45 per cent, Peters said it was "biased" and "a sham" and "a fraud".

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He (wrongly) insisted the pollsters had only put National, Labour and the Greens forward as options for people to choose.

When challenged on this given Colmar Brunton's poll was completely unprompted, Peters moved to the argument that he had a political science degree and knew more about polls than 1 News.

Meanwhile, Ardern appeared on the front page of Vogue.

Asked by Newshub's The Project which international magazines he had been on the cover of, former PM Sir John Key recalled being in a photo with British PM David Cameron at Nelson Mandela's funeral.

The caption read: "British PM David Cameron laughs with an unidentified guest."

TUESDAY: Protesters come to Parliament, Nathan Guy out

Protesters against Oranga Tamariki's practice of removing children from at-risk families came to Parliament, and some voiced concern Speaker Trevor Mallard would not allow a cover for kuia and kaumatua to sit under.

Mallard explained it was a longstanding rule no structures be allowed for protests on the grounds – but did offer the use of the Speaker's Lounge for the kuia and kaumatua to warm up.

He even put his cellphone number on Twitter for them to contact him. None did.

One of National's good blokes, Nathan Guy, announced his pending retirement from politics.

The Beehive Diaries has fond memories of Guy on a trip around South America in 2013. In Chile, he tried to persuade then Prime Minister John Key it would be a grand idea for him to hold on to a live electric fence.

Cheered on by the media, Guy persisted in his efforts for quite some time despite Key's obvious reluctance to offer up such a photo opportunity, saying it would cause people to question the IQ level of his ministers.

Meanwhile as the reaction to Simon Bridges' comment that Ardern was a "part-time Prime Minister" flowed, NZ First's Shane Jones was kind enough to try to run some interference for him.

Jones chose that same moment to denounce the sartorial standards of protesters at Ihumatao, in particular targeting yoga pants.

Shane Jones not wearing yoga pants. Photo / Jason Walls

Jones took over from Bridges in trending on Twitter, the choicest descriptions of his behaviour being that he was a "misogynist", "a weak misogynist", "a pathetic old man", "an utter piece of ****" and "a suit-wearing ****".

Unabashed, Jones continued to bemoan the protesters' actions, later in the week depicting the protest as "loud voices, flags, and massage tables".

WEDNESDAY: Maggie Barry caught short

National Party MP Maggie Barry. Photo / Mark Mitchell

Voting on the amendments for the first part of the End of Life Choice Bill was a two-hour marathon of watching MPs wander in and out, listening to the Sergeant at Arms shouting "lock the doors" and then to Parliament TV's music drone away.

It was a test of bladders as well as patience.

The person charged with counting the votes on the anti-euthanasia side was National MP Maggie Barry.

But Barry ended up missing one vote on an amendment after making a quick visit to the ladies and returning to find the doors locked because a vote was under way.

She managed to catch the attention of colleague David Carter, who cast a proxy vote for her – and also did her job as the teller.

FRIDAY: Shane Jones reviews Air NZ safety ad

Regional Development Minister Shane Jones has a long-running feud with Air NZ which began with his disgruntlement over cuts to regional services but quickly developed into attacks on chief executive Chris Luxon's political ambitions, and the airline's infamous rap safety video.

So Beehive Diaries was keen to get his verdict on the new safety video featuring several former and present All Blacks, former Wallaby George Gregan and Suits actor Rick Hoffman.

Air New Zealand safety advert features former Wallabies player George Gregan flanked by All Blacks Sam Cane, left, and Anton Leinart-Brown. Photo / Supplied

Jones gave it a pass mark – albeit more out of political survival than the story line.

"Given the large number of All Blacks in it, it would be electoral euthanasia to say anything bad."

He took particular delight in the appearance of former Wallabies player George Gregan, describing him as "the Beelzebub character", and "ghost-like, like a shrivelled Wallaby hobbit".

After delivering his verdict, Jones left to fly to Australia - on Qantas.