Helen Woolner, 21, imagines life if she had adopted out the baby she had at 16.
It's not a positive picture, but the gently spoken Porirua woman, her casual clothes topped by long brown hair, is candid. "I'd be lying around at home," she says, recalling her pre-pregnancy days ofwagging fifth-form lessons at Porirua College, "lying around" and figuring out how to get alcohol.
"I probably would have had a drink last night," she says. "Maybe drugs. I probably wouldn't have carried on with my education. And I probably wouldn't be making any effort to get work."
"And," she says, "I would be really depressed." Separation from her child - Tinei, now aged 4 - would have torn her heart out.
Adoption, or abortion, were never considered when she got pregnant at 15. Ms Woolner believes that getting pregnant so young motivated her to continue her education, despite having Ronesia, 2, Tinei's full sister, after a contraceptive pill failure.
Having a baby forced her to grow up, to plan for the future beyond the next $240-a-week domestic purposes benefit payment: "I had to." And this year, after finishing her education at He Huarahi Tamariki, the Wellington school for teenage parents, Ms Woolner starts a three-year science degree.
She would like to be a forensic scientist. Ms Woolner, of Cook Island and Pakeha descent, lives with her mum, paying $120 a week board. Although the kids' father "is a really good dad" she describes her relationship with him as "hard".
