A mother whose child lives with a hidden disability is urging the public not to judge people “just by looking at them” after being berated by a stranger for legally parking in a mobility spot.
Marydie Bartle, an Auckland mother of two, claims she was subjected to a barrage of ableist and racist remarks from an older man outside the Mt Albert Aquatic Centre on Sunday night.
Being the family’s first time at the aquatic centre, Bartle parked her vehicle in a mobility parking space with a permit card clearly displayed on the windscreen.
“We wanted to give our autistic 7-year-old a chance to swim; something that helps him regulate and feel calm,” Bartle told the Herald.
“My son has significant support needs. He’s non-verbal, he has no sense of danger and he can run off suddenly.
“The mobility card was issued by his doctor for exactly this reason.”
Bartle had barely made it out of the car to the entrance when an older man approached her and said she was not allowed to park there.
“He said to me, ‘Who’s the person with a disability?’ I said, ‘My son, he’s autistic’. And then he said, ‘Well clearly he can walk’,” Bartle said.
Informing the man the family had a valid mobility permit for her son that allowed her to legally park there, he allegedly replied: “You probably get that disability car park from your Chinese doctor”.
While Bartle - who is Filipino - tried to dismiss the man’s remarks and moved towards reception, her son was unsettled by the confrontation and no longer wanted to enter the building.
“I tried to calm him down ... we ended up leaving the swimming pool,” Bartle said.
The man was not affiliated with the aquatic centre, so Bartle did not lay a formal complaint. However, she informed the receptionist about the conversation, and she apologised for the distress caused.
“She was very understanding, she said, ‘What can I do for you?’ She offered lollies for my son, but my son already didn’t want to go in,” Bartle said.
In highlighting their ordeal, Bartle wants Kiwis to better understand the nuances of living with a disability in New Zealand, noting that the term itself and accessible parking spots are not exclusively reserved for those needing mobility support.
“We struggle already in our home. We need someone to speak out,” Bartle said.
“People can have a disability without having a wheelchair ... That’s why I told him, ‘Know your facts’. He clearly doesn’t understand that autistic people struggle with loud noises, crowded spaces.”
BJ Clark, the national manager of the mobility parking scheme at CCS Disability Action, told the Herald that while some disabilities can go unseen, the physical barriers are just as real, making the permits a critical lifeline for community access.
“We have to be very careful when we query someone’s use of the permit just because they don’t have a visible disability,” Clark said.
“It’s as important to the person with the hidden disability as it is to the person with the visible disability.”
Although there were legitimate concerns around people abusing mobility parking spaces, Clark said it was “not an excuse” to interrogate someone over their disability, even more so if those using the space hold valid permits.
With 1 in 6 New Zealanders identifying as disabled, Clark cited Eden Park’s Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo shows as examples of how mobility parking spaces can make goods and services more accessible to more people, claiming they “may have even made the difference as to whether [people] could attend the Tattoo or not“.
People with hidden disabilities had approached Clark about similar experiences when parking in the past, and he said the questioning of one’s disability always had the same effect.
“It’s just another attack on them as a person, when they are just trying to be the same as everyone else and access their community.”
Disability Rights Commissioner Prudence Walker said those worried such spaces aren’t being used by the right people should leave policing matters to the relevant authorities “to protect everyone’s dignity”.
“We know that community knowledge about the diversity of disabled people is not high, many impairments are invisible and it is not helpful to make assumptions,” Walker said.
“If community members are concerned that a park is not being used by someone who needs it, they could consider letting the council know on public or council property, or in the case of private property, the landowner.”
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