KEY POINTS:
A single session with a "parent coach" was enough to stop 5-year-old Ariana Nell hurting her new baby brother, Brayden, to get her parents' attention.
It was the classic case of the first child's envy of the new competitor for Mum's time and love.
Parents Amanda and Gavin
Nell tried time-out and star charts, but were at the end of their tether when they went to parent coach Jenny Hale at the Parenting Place, a new $7.8 million one-stop shop for parents that opens in Auckland's Greenlane tomorrow.
After an hour with Mrs Hale at a cost of $70, Mr Nell says: "It took a week of implementing Jenny's system and we noticed a 100 per cent turnaround in her behaviour."
Ariana herself says simply: "I stopped hurting my brother."
The way they tell it, it all sounds so easy. Mrs Hale began by asking each parent to state their goals for their children and to fill in a survey on their parenting styles.
Mr Nell came out of it as a "sergeant-major" type, and Mrs Nell was "always saving them".
"Just doing the questionnaire showed us that, whereas we thought we were on the same page, we were miles apart," Mr Nell says.
Mrs Nell explains: "Gavin's from South Africa. It was a very similar upbringing, but miles apart, so we had very different views on raising our children. Coming to Jenny and talking to her, we realised we had to back each other up, and we are doing that."
On Mrs Hale's suggestion, they tried a new star chart system that rewarded Ariana every time she did what they asked her to do the first time.
She got 36 stars in the first week and earned six small treats, such as going to the park or playing a board game she loved.
"We were giving her our time and attention," Mrs Nell says.
Mr Nell says: "Instead of flying off the handle and raising your voice, just stay calm, because if you just stay calm you are still in control."
The Nells, from Mangere Bridge, are the kind of parents the Parenting Place is made for.
Parents Inc founders Ian and Mary Grant had the idea of transforming the Greenlane building where they rented an office into a place where parents could attend courses, seek advice from various experts like Jenny Hale, or just chill out in the new cafe.
A reclusive Timaru accountant, Alan Hubbard, gave $6.3 million to buy the building, and will be guest of honour at a pre-opening function tonight.
Mr Hubbard, 79, is the principal owner of South Canterbury Finance and Helicopters NZ and is a director of 200 companies.
He is also a trustee of the Bible College in Henderson and recently gave it $5 million for a new library.
He said yesterday that he went to two of Ian Grant's parenting seminars before donating to the Parenting Place.
"I had just sold a property, he said. "I helped him. I think it's a good cause."
Parents Inc raised a further $1.5 million from individuals, churches and businesses to fit out the building.
* Parenting Place gala opening, 300 Gt South Rd, Greenlane, tomorrow, 10am-4pm, www.parentsinc.org.nz
