‘A terrible shock to her’: Woman steals $188k from her mother

The 88-year-old woman worked hard all her life.

• Gaylene Thomas was found guilty of stealing $188,000 from her elderly mother, Adela Cottam.
• Cottam, suspicious of her daughter’s actions, reported the abuse to Age Concern in 2019.
• Elder abuse, particularly financial, is increasing, with advocates urging awareness and reporting.

By Luka Forman for RNZ

A woman has been found guilty of theft in a special relationship after she stole more than $180,000 from her elderly mother while she had control of her bank account.

Gaylene Thomas was given the power of attorney to sell her mother Adela Cottam’s home, and then withdrew $188,000 from her mother’s account without her consent.

Elder abuse advocates say this type of financial abuse has become more common, and is often carried out by the victim’s family.

Anne Foley was a social worker with Age Concern when Cottam first contacted the agency with concerns her daughter was taking her money in 2019.

She had given her daughter the power of attorney, a legal document giving her authority to sell her mother’s Papatoetoe home on her behalf.

But Cottam soon became suspicious that her daughter was misusing her money, Foley said.

“What Adela could see – and as she would say to me: ‘I’m not gaga, Anne, I could tell something was happening’.

“‘My daughter would come in wearing brand new clothes. I even noticed that there was a brand new car in the garage which I was told belonged to my granddaughter who I knew wasn’t really working and I knew my daughter wasn’t really working.”

The 88-year-old woman worked hard all her life.

Foley contacted Cottam’s bank – which figured out how much money had been withdrawn and put an immediate hold on her account.

The bank manager and Foley then sat Cottam down to confirm her daughter had taken nearly $200,000 out of her account.

“She was completely and utterly devastated to hear from this bank manager that every day $1000 had been withdrawn, $5000, $10,000 by direct internet transfer. It was a terrible shock to her.”

Cottam intended the money from the sale of the house to be her nest egg, but Thomas ate into a big portion of it, Foley said.

“She was a lady of 88 years of age. She’d never owned everything in her life really except for this little house she’d owned with her now deceased husband in Papatoetoe.

“Worked hard all her life – she had nothing, and she had been overjoyed to think she now had this wonderful nest-egg sitting there in the bank.”

After everything was accounted for, Cottam had $150,000 left, and Foley said if she had not been so quick to report the abuse, she may have been left with nothing.

“The house sale went through in June - Adela contacted Age Concern in October. So over those few months [nearly] $190,000 went from the account. If she hadn’t contacted Age Concern when she did, then it all would have been gone by Christmas.”

Cottam eventually decided to file criminal charges against her daughter, and Thomas was found guilty at a judge-alone trial of theft in a special relationship.

Cottam passed away in 2022, before the trial. Thomas will be sentenced in June.

Retired lawyer Alistaire Hall - who acted for Cottam in the past and gave evidence at the trial - said elder abuse was becoming more common.

“Sadly common and sadly increasing. It’s not just financial, it could be physical, psychological, sexual, but certainly economic and that’s the one that seems to have increased exponentially through the time of my involvement through Age Concern.”

Raising awareness about elder abuse was the most effective way to support victims, Hall said.

“Most people are totally unaware that there is such a thing as elder abuse until they actually become aware of it - whether it’s perpetrator or victim. The worst thing you can do is nothing. The best thing you can do is report it.”