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Home / Manawatu Guardian

The Secret Keeper: Catherine Daniels' story of childhood trauma

Judith Lacy
By Judith Lacy
Judith Lacy is editor of the Manawatū Guardian·Manawatu Guardian·
10 Mar, 2021 08:49 PM2 mins to read

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These tiles signify some of the words Catherine Daniels used to unfold the layers of her history. Photo / Judith Lacy

These tiles signify some of the words Catherine Daniels used to unfold the layers of her history. Photo / Judith Lacy

"One of the most important tools I have found is the written word. Circling thoughts ruminated until I started to write."

So writes Catherine Daniels in her just launched book, The Secret Keeper.

Using a pseudonym, Daniels shares her childhood trauma and sexual abuse kept secret for years.

It wasn't until she was nearly 50 she realised her secrets made her unwell. A meeting with Whanganui author and publisher Joan Rosier-Jones changed her life.

Daniels started to unfold the layers of her history through words, many of them in metaphorical form. She joined a writers' group which supported her mental health journey.

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One day she couldn't write, so she decided to make a sculpture to portray what she couldn't say in words.

Daniels' sculptures are on display at Square Edge Community Arts in Palmerston North until April 6.

By creating these sculptures and metaphors, she slowly unfolded her past in a way she was able to control. Each of the 40 sculptures tells their own story.

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The exhibition was opened last Friday by Rangitīkei mayor Andy Watson, a long-time friend of Daniels. Watson said the thing he admired most about Daniels was her bravery.

Joan Rosier-Jones said Daniels wanted to write her life story and she produced pages and pages of angst and sadness. Those words were edited down to the absolute essence that appears in the book.

The photos of Daniels' sculptures that appear in the exhibition and book were taken by Esther Bunning.

She said she had no idea how much impact the sculptures - "the girls" - would have on her life. When Bunning expressed nervousness about capturing the sculptures, Daniels told her "listen to the girls, they will tell you how they want to be photographed".

Carol Lewis, who sponsored the exhibition, said meeting Daniels changed her life and she congratulated her for coming out of the shadows.

Daniels hopes to tour the exhibition around New Zealand and Australia.

She writes about dissociating into her own world, hiding her femininity and wrapping an invisible cloak around herself.

"When I look at these sculptures and read their metaphors, I realise what I have buried," Daniels wrote. "My childhood that ruled my life for over 50 years is no longer a secret."

Manawatū Abuse Intervention Network's freephone crisis line is 0800 733 843.

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