Shielding children from online bullies

Young people are increasingly seeking the help of mental health services due to cyber bullying, according to one professional who has shared his experiences in a book about cyber safety.

John Parsons is New Zealand's leading expert on cyber safety for children and has detailed his findings in the guide, Keeping Our Children Safe Online. He will be visiting Palmerston North at the end of this month, hosting two seminars on the complex issues surrounding internet safety.

A concerning threat to children is cyber bullying and the ability for a bully to "follow" their victim home through social media and text messaging.

Mr Parsons says bullying through an online forum requires no physical size or strength, and can be used to allow them to remain anonymous.

"I believe the biggest contributors to stopping cyber bullying in this country are parents who are committed to their child's use of technology. Looking at who they are communicating with, how they are communicating and asking themselves this question, 'Is what my child saying via this technology, or receiving, consistent with our family values'?"

And, young people who take part in Mr Parsons' workshops often find themselves the subject of this positive approach.

"As a society I think we often forget the success they have in their everyday lives because research tends to highlight the negative - I think this is the best way to empower our young by celebrating their decency as often as we can."

For parents who find their children doing something wrong online, Mr Parsons says it is key to offer constructive parental guidance.

"Above all else demonstrate compassion in our adult lives so that our children, who model on us, can go on to express that in theirs."

Children who become subject to cyber bullying can express a number of symptoms.

These include problems with sleeping, low self-esteem or becoming guarded with their devices.

Others can also develop suicidal thoughts, start to self-harm and appear agitated when receiving communications.

"Support can sometimes be required for a number of years," Mr Parsons says.

"It can cause a drop in academic achievement because the child wants to avoid going to school because the abuser may be at the school or because others at school, the bystanders, are aware of the online abuse."

He says parents can support children by doing a number of things including telling them to ignore the cyber bully, to collect or store messages, listen to them and inform their school.

There are also various software programmes parents can download to monitor online activity.

To learn more about keeping your children safe online, John Parsons will be hosting the following free seminars in Palmerston North:

Seminar on internet Safety, St Albans Presbyterian Church, October 25, 11am-12.30pm.

Internet Safety, Senior Citizens/Adults, Globe Theatre, October 27, 11am-12.30pm.