Palmerston North funeral director Phil Cottle shares insights into the final farewell

Flowers at Kelvin Grove Cemetery in Palmerston North where Phil Cottle often holds funerals in the chapel. Photo / Sonya Holm

A quiet home sits back from a busy intersection with three hearses parked in the driveway.

They belong to Phil Cottle. He has been in the funeral industry for 12 years and organises final farewells from his Palmerston North home.

“Without stabbing any other funeral home in the back, I try and do more low economic funerals, more affordable funerals,” Cottle says.

He is a funeral director, embalmer and celebrant. He was with the fire service for years, but it was the death of his grandfather that drew Cottle to the funeral industry.

The “huge” cost of funerals was also a surprise.

“Work and Income only pay $2000 or $2500, that doesn’t cover anything,” Cottle says, adding that ACC will cover $7000 for accidents.

A family may have to come up with $10,000 within 30 days, “you’re up $12-13,000 for a very basic service”.

Cottle believes everyone deserves a “fitting farewell” but chats about finances upfront.

“It’s at the start of the conversation, what’s your financial status? Some people are ‘oh is that rude?’.

“I say it’s not, because they pick all this nice stuff and then all of a sudden look at the bill. And I’ve just put them in financial hardship.”

Instead, Cottle offers advice on cheaper caskets or hiring one, and suggests people pick flowers from their gardens or get the kids to draw pictures for the casket.

His house is not a consented funeral home, there is no chapel and embalming takes place elsewhere.

“This is specifically our home, people come here and we just talk … [but] we still provide the same service as anybody else,” Cottle says.

Phil Cottle of Gardenview Funeral Services owns three hearses. Photo / Sonya Holm

He runs Gardenview Funeral Services, but does not advertise, it’s all “word of mouth”.

Cottle arranged a funeral with the Anglican Church for a man with no relatives who died at a rest home.

“He was a pauper. So no family, no friends. We all rallied together and said let’s have a service for him … For me, everyone means something, regardless of who they are.”

Mostly though, Cottle arranges funerals for family and friends.

“I’ve had quite a close friend be killed in a car accident. One of my mate’s wife, we did her funeral.”

And he recently arranged his father’s funeral.

Cottle says it’s hard running funerals for people you know but his approach is pragmatic saying “someone’s got to do it”.

Going on holiday can present bigger problems.

“Last time we went to Australia, my friend’s grandfather died ... went to Auckland, and a friend died. If you’re going to go away, then you need to be prepared that you may have to come home.”

For Cottle, funerals are a time of healing, closure and humour.

Reflecting his down-to-earth nature, Cottle relays a request he received from a family for how to end the service. He asked mourners in colourful language to gather their belongings and leave.

“It was so serious right up until then, and it was just a hall of laughter. It just made light of a horrible moment.”

Working elsewhere during the day, Cottle has plans to move into the industry fulltime.

Using fireworks to go out with a bang is not the only suggestion he’s received.

“A friend of mine said ‘when I die, make sure that you put popcorn kernels in my casket’. Just so you see the fun side. And I’ll uphold to that,” Cottle says.

Sonya Holm is a freelance journalist based in Palmerston North.