Mike Clark's Business Bites: Like any muscle our response-ability improves with practice

When we realise emotions are messages we can then pause and ascertain if the message is true and helpful. Photo / Freepix

OPINION:

When looking for an ideal team player we often want people who show high levels of responsibility, accountability and ownership.

For customer-facing roles we expect people to take responsibility for ensuring the customer has an amazing experience.

The challenge for many people on the frontline is that the customer can often be unreasonable, emotionally charged, stressed and choose to vent and offload to the first person they come in contact with - the customer service superstar!

Responsibility is an interesting word because when you break it down it literally talks about your ability to respond - ie. your response-ability. This is easier said than done.

One of the foundational principles I teach in customer service training is that "we are not responsible for other people's actions and reactions, only our own". How good are your customer service people at not taking on board your customers' emotional baggage?

To do well on the frontline of any business people need to be highly emotionally intelligent, what is often called EQ or emotional quotient. Emotional intelligence is broken into five core areas:

1) self-awareness
2) self-regulation
3) motivation
4) empathy
5) social skills.

The most important of these is the foundational level of self-awareness. Many people are not aware they can control their emotions. They suddenly find themselves reacting emotionally and feel like it "just happened". This is where self-awareness is so valuable - you cannot control an emotion if you don't know how to recognise it before acting.

Emotions are messages to your brain. They are not necessarily true messages - it is just how the body is feeling. Much like waves in a sea - you cannot stop the waves but you can choose the ones you will surf! When we realise emotions are messages we can then pause and ascertain if the message is true and helpful.

An angry customer might send the message to your brain to retreat and hide, or to confront them with equal agitation. What is usually required, of course, is to stay calm and project your calmness, take control of the situation, reassure them you do want to help, and be kind and polite. Initially, this can feel counterintuitive.

As you practise and apply the principles of great service your brain has different experiences and forms new reference points.

One of my favourite quotes is by Elton Trueblood - discipline is the price of freedom. To be free from worry, doubt, anxiety and a raft of other debilitating emotional states and to ensure you are best set up to serve people well the starting point has to be one's ability to manage their feelings and the way they respond to and from these feelings.

We all have an ability to respond. The challenge is to do the work and realise you can significantly impact the way people will act and react around you by setting the standard of how you will behave and respond in any given situation. Like any muscle our response-ability improves with practice. Do the work and enjoy the rewards - they are worth it and your customers will thank you!

• Mike Clark is director and lead trainer and facilitator at Think Right business training company.