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Home / Manawatu Guardian

Judith Lacy’s Jottings: At 53, I’m ready to concede I’m middle aged

Judith Lacy
By Judith Lacy
Judith Lacy is editor of the Manawatū Guardian·Manawatu Guardian·
14 Nov, 2023 08:15 PM4 mins to read

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Me in 2012 having fun with my mother's wig. I definitely wasn't middle-aged then.

Me in 2012 having fun with my mother's wig. I definitely wasn't middle-aged then.

OPINION

I turn 53 on the weekend. It’s hardly a milestone birthday, more of a sobering one as I can’t kid myself I have half my life left.

Judith at 106? Preposterous.

I’m often told I look much younger than I am and I politely reply it’s because I don’t have children. But if you look closely at my hands and neck (please don’t) you’ll see the leathery skin that is thinning as I type.

This year has been dominated by unexpected health issues, one of which I first started battling as a teenager. Don’t worry, I’m not going to go into gory details and believe me it is gory, but the pending birthday and casting my mind back to teenage me has got me thinking.

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Have I changed during all these years?

Teen me liked 1980s pop music. Nothing since has surpassed it despite - or perhaps because of - all the technological advances.

The TikTok trend of group dancing to Every Breath You Take shows this masterpiece has a new audience. David and Victoria Beckham’s Netflix documentary has prompted the Beckham challenge of couples dancing to Islands in the Stream. I’ve seen scores of TikTokers taking on this challenge and I’m sorry guys but you all fail. No one does it like Beckham.

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Teen me liked custard squares. Middle-aged me still does but not the one I had on Monday. The pastry was like cardboard, the icing was too sweet and the custard too solid. If you want to buy me a birthday present find me the best custard square in Manawatū.

I went to high school with a girl whose father owned a bakery. His custard squares were like no other then or since. They weren’t so much squares as slabs, the custard was blobby and the pastry rivalled that of a croissant.

Teen me could not abide hair below the arms of her glasses. I still can’t.

Teen me liked cats but middle-aged me loves my cat. [Thank you Maysie, you can withdraw your claws now.]

I have much more appreciation for how much a cat can enhance your life and the smell of their fur is much cheaper and better for you than whiskey.

It’s an overused trope but one I’m going to indulge in since I’m the birthday girl.

There’s much wisdom I’d give my teenage self and I reckon I’d listen because I have always had respect for older people. The more pertinent question is whether middle-aged me listens. Yes, at the grand old age of 53 I’ve decided to embrace the middle-aged tag.

1. The person you will spend the most time in your life with is you. Seek your own approval. Respect yourself.

2. People change. Relationships change people. Pain changes people as does loss. It really might not be you.

3. Hold tight to your belief in karma like a kitten holds on to your most expensive curtains.

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4. You might be surrounded by liars and lazy people but you don’t have to go down that path. Value integrity.

5. Have fun - it’s what makes you feel alive.

6. Never stop learning. What is the point of life if we don’t keep learning. This week I’ve learned about the city council’s abandoned car process and CPR (not related) and refreshed my knowledge of the road code.

Teen me loved newspapers. They were like this messy, finger-staining, first draft of history, as magical as the Narnia wardrobe. I don’t need to tell you whether middle-aged me still likes newspapers.

And no, Bryan Adams, summer of ‘69 were not the best days of my life. I wasn’t even conceived then. How could anyone be having a good time before I came into the world?


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