Judith Lacy reveals what it is like to be a speed-eating contestant

Manawatū Guardian editor Judith Lacy and hot cross bun eating winner Luke McGinty in action at the Palmy Bid Easter Pop-Up on Saturday. Photo / Cassie Bonne

OPINION

How did you consume your hot cross buns over Easter? Probably with butter. Perhaps also toasted.

For me, it was with lashings of water.

When I saw Palmy Bid, which has organised hot dog eating contests for Missoula Day, was running a hot cross bun one on Easter Saturday I was as excited as a kid finding six Easter eggs under my pillow. I don’t know why.

Perhaps because I’d been on the other side of the table for the hot dog eating and thought I actually enjoy eating hot cross buns.

As the 1.30pm start time neared I nearly pulled out but I’m glad I didn’t.

I wasn’t in it to win or get free hot cross buns but to try something new and watch the other contestants.

The Guinness World Records is chocka with fast-eating records: fastest time to eat a muffin, most cannoli eaten in 30 seconds, most Smarties eaten in three minutes using chopsticks.

Guinness also has the fastest time to peel and eat citrus fruit challenges and eating with no hands records.

In January it published an article on how eating records have changed. It no longer monitors record attempts for how much a person can eat in an unlimited time. Instead, it sets a short time limit (three minutes at the longest) for a person to eat the most of one particular item, or it times how quickly they can eat a certain thing.

“What mattered more now was how quickly you could eat a small amount of something or how much of something you could eat in a short amount of time,” editor-in-chief Craig Glenday said.

My favourite eating record is the most couples eating a single piece of spaghetti simultaneously. It was set in Berlin on July 6, 2023, with 463 couples dining.

That’s not gluttonous or bad for health but romantic. Valentine’s Day 2025 is on a Friday so how about it Palmy Bid? Just as long as my partner is not a lettuce.

Armed with water bottles, five men and two women stepped up to the table in Te Marae o Hine / The Square on Saturday for their three minutes of chomping and swallowing. There were thankfully few spectators.

I managed nearly two buns - a morsel of the second was still in my mouth when time was called. I spent most of the three minutes watching the other contestants and enjoying the banter of Jannell. She was there to support her nephew Luke McGinty, who won the 17-years-plus contest by eating five buns. Luke had a baker’s dozen of supporters including his grandmother and mother. He won a ginormous Easter egg.

Luke didn’t have any qualms dipping his buns in the communal water container but I had plenty about the bits of floating bun left over from the 16-and-under contest. So I poured water from a bottle on mine. I can’t tell you what the Pak’nSave buns tasted like because the water dulled the taste. Don’t try that at home.

Councillor Mark Arnott is always a good sport about speed-eating competitions. This time he managed three-and-a-half buns, plus plenty of grimaces.

Zach Mohi, 14, won the other contest - he too swallowed five buns.

There’s a place for properly supervised speed-eating contests as marketing and promotional tools. In my view, the prize should be small and definitely not cash.

No Maysie, speed eating the Manawatū Guardian is not a goer nor is speed reading it. But a quiz on the content or how many pieces a cat can rip it into could be.

Judith Lacy has been the editor of the Manawatū Guardian since December 2020.